Monday, 30 June 2014

20. Ridiculous

Click and listen... really listen!!!!

20. Ridiculous!

Time to empty my head as we welcome in July......

I am who I am, your approval is not needed!
What is 'normal' to one person can seem totally ridiculous to another. Some recent Facebook statuses from my friends include these Gems:- Great, stuck on the M25 again, another shit Monday. What a start, woke late had to rush to work and got flashed by a fucking camera. I hate Mondays, I hate my job more. So ill but i have to go to work. Another bollocking at work, tears flowing this evening. I wish I was appreciated at work...even just once. Grr Can't go out, I'm working tomorrow.
These fill me with sadness.
You have a choice, you have options, you can live your life on your terms. You can change jobs, work part time, ask for a better position where you work, leave ...people have become sheep, scared to go against the grain, to think, to act.
We are spiritual beings, yet act as if we are slaves!

Normal is people dragging themselves out of bed too early, getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, use your petrol whilst driving through traffic in a car you are still paying for, in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes, petrol and car, and the house you leave empty all day so you can afford to live in it! You save a little each month so that you can escape this drudgery and have a holiday, where you sit and wonder what is going on back at work.

You get a job so that you can afford to live the life this incondite society has created for you, but then you spend all your time at work, and end up with no time to live the life you are working for!
It seems to me that the only way forward is to create your own life, not one mapped out for you. Life isn't about getting and having, it’s about giving and being.

The simple truth is, most of work just to get by. We work to make someone else rich, most of us will never get rich by working, plus- the more you earn, the more you spend!
So how do we get rich? Maybe by forgetting money altogether! We are [all of us] rich beyond measure, we have a life, we have as much freedom as we allow ourselves and each of us are a valuable and perfect human being who can tap into the deep personal and spiritual core of our souls, if and when we want to feel rich. Material things will never really make us happy, just create a fleeting moment of happiness. We need enough money to have a roof over our heads and food in our ever expanding bellies. The roof we choose and the food we eat, does NOT have to be the same as everyone else....we see everyone else struggling, is that really what we want for ourselves? 
Just think of all the things in life that money can't buy... love, respect, happiness, inner peace, truth, honesty, time, manners, clouds, integrity, trust, an enlightened person, patience, sunshine, good karma, wisdom, decent friends, sunsets, sunrises, tolerance, compassion, meditation, hope, fresh air, beauty of nature, a hug, a babies smile, the colours of autumn, dreams, fresh snow, a starry night, laughter, an awakened mind, kindness, memories etc.
You can have some, or all of these things without spending a single penny, if we only learn to embrace the true wonders of humanity and accept what is really important.

We didn't always have this ridiculous hang up over [paper] money. Before THEY invented money people used what they owned. Gold, Barley, Beads and even salt were all a currency at one time. I think we should go back to a bartering system. When something is done out of love and respect, the idea of money exchange never enters your head.
But now we have people working too hard, even doing extra hours, seeing less of their loved ones, and experiencing less of life. What have we become?
Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don't have to impress people they don’t know.  Don’t be one of them.  Stop buying stuff on impulse! Do not fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.  Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.

The 'freeman' movement, 'wake up britain' and 'anonymous' etc, make me laugh. I do admire them all, and some of what they say is interesting to me, I also think they have some very valid and well thought out points and ideas.
But it would seem that the large majority of their followers are probably just pent up people searching for some kind of validity, whilst doing the opposite, and playing right into the system. Very few of these people have the determination or even the balls to live by their convictions. Many still vote, most work, most pay income tax, drive a car, pay rent or a mortgage, pay council tax and are on the electoral role. They probably all register their childrens birth and some even get their kids christened! Some even get married in church, most give their signature away on the millions of forms we are supposed to fill in. They are taking out credit to buy a car or go on holiday, and pay all their so called 'bills'. Most would do anything the police ask of them as they don't really believe in admiralty law or common law, but they would like to!
Seriously, if you are working, saving in a bank, have a mortgage, pay road tax and income tax- then you ARE the system that you are trying to fight against!
Fuck the system, it is THEIR creation, not mine!

I have found that owning a house, paying the mortgage, has become a noose around my neck. It traps you, makes you continue to work full time, often in a job that does not feed your soul. It also traps you into living in one place, makes you feel unhappy and unhealthy and drains your spiritual energy. It isn't like that for everyone, but that is exactly how I feel.

Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. They allow themselves to become slaves. Don't be one of them. Don't wait until your life is almost over to realise how good it could have been. The good life begins right now, when you stop waiting for a better one. One day you will wake up and there won't be any more time to do the things you've always wanted. Do it now.
Your life is your own. Don’t waste it trying to be what others expect you to be. Don’t sacrifice your happiness to make everybody happy. Don’t give up on your dreams to build other people’s dreams.

If all of that sounds stupid to you, I would rather be ridiculous than normal. Change starts with you but it doesn't start until you do.

I am concerned that there are not enough people that will turn their heads away from X factor and involve themselves in what is REALLY happening outside the confines of their four walls, but since people stopped thinking, what else should they do? They are now incapable of any rational thought, or sometimes even a single original thought at all. This is now 'normal'.
If someone stopped you in the street today and said 'how do you feel about Big Pharma', what would your reply be?

Normal, to me, is TRYING to live as free as possible, living more out of the system than in, living off grid. Wearing what I want, rather than what most people buy from the half a dozen shit 'fashion' shops. Normal to me, is being me. Tattoos, piercings, music, poetry, meditation and my spiritual life are not influenced by anything that society/work/people and the system tries to impose on me.
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
A meaningful life is not being rich, popular, highly educated or perfect. It Is about being real, being humble, being strong and being able to share ourselves and touch the lives of others. It Is only then that we could have a full, happy and contented life.
Normal to me is being away from the madding crowd, doing my own thing and forgetting all the crap that attacks us from all sides, religion, politics, consumerism etc... I love to meditate and to be outside somewhere peaceful, that is where I feel most 'normal'. 

Often people will not understand your way of life, or how and why you think the way you do, but thats fine, it isn't their journey you are on! Some will condemn you, as that seems to be an easy thing to do, rather than live and let live, it seems people are quick to judge something they have no idea about.
Even friends and sadly family, can be too quick to try and shit all over your life. It is a sad reflection of todays money grabbing, brain washed arseholes.
Peace and love will always win in the end, and your inner peace can create an invisibility cloak.

I think what is often wrong in this world is that people are afraid to say what they really feel, they hold it inside. We are slowly becoming very insular, afraid of our emotions, of being open and honest. Ask anyone how they are, the reply will be 'fine'. They are sad, but they don't cry. They are happy but they won't dance or sing. They are angry but won't scream. If they do any of these, they might feel ashamed or embarrassed- so everyone walks with their heads down and no one sees how beautiful the sky is.

People pay tax, they pay a TV license or fill in the census, they pay parking 'fines' and never question bank charges...they don't justify any of this, they have no need- they just plod on, slaving away, brain dead.
I called my water company back before Xmas asking for a copy of the contract between them and me, there isn't one. Water companies do not contract with their customers, they simply send out bills, which most people just pay! No contract means no obligation. So I stopped payments to them last year. I got 2 begging letters, then nothing- apart from free water!
People seem to believe the media and politicians, we have been and are being fooled and treated like complete idiots. We are being lied to at every turn.
People choose to bury their heads in the sand, and have very little idea of what is going on around them. We are all part of this world, wake up!

People jump up and down over the likes of Gary Barlow and Jimmy Carr paying less tax than they should- that is how brainwashed people have become! The richest woman in the world, the queen, never used to pay ANY tax at all, she now pays a voluntary payment. There is NO LAW to say you must pay tax. The fact is people must be jealous of those that either don't pay tax, or have found a nice little loop hole...yet they will continue, brain dead!
When you wake up, you start to realise how fucking ridiculous this world is. However, waking up is clearly a choice it would seem!

What do most people know [or care] about Fracking, Chemtrails, GMOs, Fluoride, Monsanto, HAARP, Vaccinations, GCHQ, Fukushima, Big Pharma, Atos, Aspartame, Banks or politics.... not a lot is the answer.
Yet they know much more about so called celebrities and the complete bullshit they are fed via the television and newspapers!! But thats being 'normal'.

I would urge people to learn about/research/understand each of the things I have just mentioned, and many more, before they next post a photo of their dinner on Facebook, or veg out in front of their brain stealing televisions.
Isn't it time you woke up? Don't you owe it to yourself to understand the world you are living in?
[anyone interested could simply copy and paste any of the above into google, and wake up!]

Chilling in the park
Everything you've ever done, every person you have ever met, every experience you've ever had, is a part of who you are today.
The mellow and the mad times, happy and sad. All this adds layers to your being and colourful depths to your soul. Everything needed to be as it was, so that you could grow into who you are and will be.
Each new sun, each new day is a gift to be cherished...and lived.
Remember the good times and learn from the bad. Enjoy living your life your way, find peace and follow your bliss.

Click in place [for Lore] -x-

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.


Click the above. Daughter, are a new band [to me]. I have been playing them non-stop this week. They have loads of vids on You Tube...  Daughter on Facebook

Here is something new [and amazing] for you, his name is Ed Alleyne-Johnson, you can find him on you tube... Shine on
Far too talented for the likes of Britains got talent etc, well worth a listen. Ed on Facebook

In the sunshine at Farmoor reservoir

Follow your dreams- or you'll spend the rest of your life working for someone who did.

Question- How did Jesus find people called Peter, John, Mark, David, James, Matthew, Andrew, Philip, Thomas and Simon- in the middle east?


Me and my dog soaking up all mother earth has to give us, feeling blessed.

1, If you read newspapers, stop now.
2, If you watch the mainstream news, again STOP!
3, If you can imagine a different way of life for yourself- go for it.
4, If you didn't spend some time in nature today, hang your head in shame!
5, Turn off everything electronic, and have a think how to simplify your life.
6, Ask yourself, do you work because of the love of it, or for money?
7, How can you live by spending less? Maybe even earning less?
8, Stop watching TV, just for one week. Talk, walk, live. Sit under the stars.
9, Pull a sickie from work, walk barefoot on the land, and do some soul searching.
10, Wake up, the info is out there.
11, Do something different today, go somewhere new, start a hobby.
12, Meditate or think deeply about life and what you REALLY want to get out of it.
13, Treat yourself. Have a crazy spending day, a new tattoo, a huge cake, something new to wear?
14, Think of yourself in a week, then a month, then a year. How will your life move on, how will you have grown, where will you be and what might you be doing?
15, Plan a trip, a break and evening out- but somewhere new and interesting.
16, Pick 5 places to visit, and aim to spend a day in each of these places over the next 6 months.
17, Throw your TV in the bin!
18, Buy some new books, go to an evening class, or do something that challenges you.
19, Try to catch as many sunrises/sunsets as you can this next month.
20, Turn your mobile phone off, even just for one day!
Be Yourself !!!
Walking on water!

Bodhi is proving himself to be a real outdoors dog, perfect for me!


The start of this month found me in real gut wrenching pain, I actually felt sick with the pain from my back and hip. It is the Osteoarthritis. I don't think the meds I am currently taking do a thing! I go to bed in pain, wake during the night in pain, and spend all day long in is a fucking pain!
So, I actually made a doctors appointment. Osteoarthritis is a degenerative condition [my doc called it a degenerative disease], it would seem that mine has accelerated recently.
So I am now on much stronger painkillers and they have upped the strength of the anti inflammatories as well.
Things are better, not great, but better. My mornings are definitely the worst, it seems to take ages before I can do very much and I am often still in pain for the first few hours.
The truth is, I am pissed off with it really. Getting up in pain and remembering to take various meds throughout the day. I think I have been fooling myself into thinking that it will go one of these days, it is hard to think that this is now the way things are.
But I have to be positive and put it to the back of my mind as much as I can. I can't do all the things I used to be able to do- but I can still do a lot, and I intend to live life to the full. Fuck you Osteoarthritis !!!!!!!!
So things are a little better, the sun is shining, and I have walking to do!

The queen on a train...oh, hang on-  its my Mum !!!!
You will remember from my last blog that I was taking my Mum out for a surprise day? Well it all went to plan, the weather was beyond fantastic. We went on a steam train through the glorious Buckinghamshire countryside, she loved it! Her little face was blissful and glowing... 
Full steam ahead!


We had wall to wall sunshine with wonderful white fluffy clouds. The train chugged away from the platform billowing its steam high into the still air, and we were off into a magical summery landscape. The dog roses seem so big this year? It was a wonderful day, and to see my Mum happy, relaxed and smiling was just perfect.

She doesn't like surprises, but text me later that day to thank me for an experience that she will 'never ever forget', bless her.
The place itself is quite cool, if you are into that kind of thing, there is a museum, tea rooms, miniature train rides, full size steam locos, a shop and model railway.
It is littered with old signage and billboards and the whole setting is really pleasant. Worth a visit really, you can even wear a silly hat and look like a complete dick!

I thought I would just mention the complete shit that sometimes goes on with certain people on Facebook. Facebook has [for me] become a necessary evil in todays society. For keeping in touch, it has become peoples main choice, even texting or calling less, due to the fact that we are able to send a quick message to each other.
I really enjoy keeping up with what is happening in my friends and families lives, but certain things drive me mad, the constant silly posts, which people know [or would if their brain worked] are not true, it is full of silly hoaxes and spam bullshit.
There is also the fact that it has become the brain deads playground, I read some nasty and unnecessary posts and comments, and people sometimes feel the need to share really inappropriate stuff.
You may recall that last year, Facebook even banned me, thanks to a family member! Nice eh?

I have recently been trying to find out how someone in the family is doing, health wise. I put a short message on the boys mothers wall, just asking what the hospital has said, and this was deleted! No message, no comment- just deleted!
Two days later, I was blocked and deleted! I'm heartbroken!
Sadly, it means that this person is no longer a member of the 'family meet up' group, tells its own story I suppose?

Things like this frustrate me no end, although I have come to expect certain people to behave like this! Don't waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all. 

So, I think that once I am in my motorhome, I shall have to have a good clear out of my Facebook, and only keep people that are interesting to me, or that I feel I have a strong connection with. So the morons of the world will fade away, allowing me time to connect with decent and intelligent people, rather than having to wade through a mountain of shit before something interesting crops up!
As I say, Facebook does seem to have two sides to it, and I love feeling connected with family and some close friends, I love seeing their photos, and hearing what they have been up to and seeing the places they go to. I have connected with some old friends too, which is fantastic. But a lot of stuff on Facebook is crap which takes time to either try and avoid, report or skip by, it also sometimes takes head space!

Trippy Peace

How many hours do you spend in the natural world each day?

Spend some time each day outside, giving thanks -x-

Bodhi is doing very well, and seems to be very settled here with me. He makes me laugh every single day, some of the silly things he gets up to!
He really is a great little dog, I can say that I love my little pogonophile to bits. He loves to be outside, we walk every single day come rain or shine. On Friday 27th June, we both got a good soaking, after leaving in the sunshine, the sky opened up, although I was probably only a mile from home, I was soaked to the skin- right through my clothing! Sometimes we have a series of short walks, other times we go on a bit of a treck. He seems very content out in the woods and fields, and will walk his legs off.
He comes back every time I have let him off the lead and generally seems to be a happy little dog, still a way to go with his confidence, but we are getting there.
I can't stand being indoors, life is too short to sit at home, so we are very well matched. I will make sure he has a happy life, is well travelled, and knows just how much he is loved.

Sometimes, when he is outside, I go upstairs and hide. He comes rushing up, looking everywhere for me. When he finally finds me, he stamps his front feet- asking me to chase him! I am learning to read him quite well now.
He still loves to be brushed and is really happy to get in the car. He loves every single dog he has met, although he isn't too keen on certain people at first, it takes him a while to find his confidence, but he has such a sweet nature, not a bad bone in his body.
He desperately wants to catch a fly or moth, but he is crap at it. It keeps him happy and busy for ages just trying to catch the little bastards!!
I think [and hope] that dogs take after their owners, so hopefully he will be a laid back little boy- although I shall go mad if he comes back home covered in tattoos and piercings!!
I have only had him for 7 weeks, but I couldn't imagine life without him now!

Fun and relaxing times


Someone called me 'a right rebel' the other day. What does that even mean? I am not sure why and when I asked, she replied 'just look at you'.

As I say, I'm not 'normal', infact I'm quite ridiculous, but we live a ridiculous life, so I probably do fit in quite well really?!

I'm still not sure what she was referring to, but if being a 'rebel' is being yourself, then yes- thats me. I can only see 3 different types of people around me, the slaves, the sheep and the free.
The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be....the slave, the sheep or the free- you decide.

But it got me to thinking...
Rebellion is when you look society in the face and say I understand who you want me to be, but I'm going to show you who I actually am.
The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion, Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.
To me, I think as we age, we become more comfortable in our own skin, the middle and the last part of life is a spiritual concern where you find your own ataraxia. You need to find a context to put your life into, that will allow you to go through it with as much grace and balance as possible, even if there is rebellion and adventure and exploration and resistance.
Naturally, we could all toe the line, wear beige, don't stand up for what we believe in, live life set by someone elses rules, believe in the system and become a slave to it. We could simply lose ourselves and fade away, but how fucking boring would that be?
Celebrate Life.
I'm here, a pilgarlic free spirited man with my own style and thoughts, my own opinions, ideas, dreams, wants and needs. I have always done what I want to do, and always will-  if that makes me a rebel, so be it. We are here ONCE!

This once that we are here should be an amazing time, we should be blessed to live each day, each second of every day.
Don't let the actions of others make you cold and bitter on the inside, learn from it, there are arseholes in this world, allow them to be exactly that and move on past them towards decent people with love in their hearts. You will attract decent people to you, if you are a decent person. If you are an arsehole, don't be surprised if all around you are arseholes.
Wake up in the morning and do what you feel is right, follow your dreams and above all, just be yourself. The peace you seek is already inside, let the barriers down, show yourself in all your glory and be the type of person that you want to meet. Who are you when no one's watching?

Some people will judge you, even though they have no right. But that says more about them than it ever could about you. They might have formed an opinion through stories they have heard about you, but they have never felt what you feel in your heart.
The people who are meant to be in your life will always gravitate back towards you, no matter how far you or they wander.
But, sometimes, we have to allow some people to distance themselves, even let them go, so that we can continue on our journey and continue to grow. We can do this safe in the knowledge that we tried. Somethings are not meant to be... but there are a lot of 'somethings' out there.
So please, know yourself, be yourself, and allow the universe to guide you and attract like minded souls towards you. Souls recognise each other by the way they feel, not by how they look or what they say.
Fact: Some people will better your life by being in it,  while others will better it by staying out.
Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you're in love or you're partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don't know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.
Personally, I have found that by really being myself in this fucked up world, that slightly alternative type people have gravitated towards me, which I am more than happy about, as these people have lived a life, have a story to tell, and are the decent honest people that my heart seeks, even if they are considered to be 'rebels'.


               If you don't fight for what you want, don't cry for what you lost!

Very ridiculous! It is good to be able to laugh at ourselves and not to take things too seriously, none of us will get out of this alive!

 There is only one success: to be able to 
spend your life in your own way.

Bodhi, enjoying his new life with me -x-

A present from my sister, Thanks Gill.
This will look cool in my new home -x-

All in all my June has been pretty good. Although I started the month in a lot of pain, the new meds seem to be helping a lot [most of the time].
I have still been out and about every day, and enjoyed being in nature as much as possible. Wherever we may come alive, that is the area in which we are spiritual. People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realising that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.
The sunshine on my skin each day really makes me feel alive, even the rain has its own kind of magic. It is so nice to see the trees all plump with their greenness after a miserable long and wet winter. The floods from a few months ago are now a distant memory, apart from in the grass which is lush and vibrant green this summer.
I have really enjoyed the quiet early morning walks, there is something very satisfying about going out early wearing just a t shirt, safe in the knowledge that your dick won't drop off in the cold whilst soaking up the views and allowing my mind to wander in silent reverie. I really love seeing all the wildlife, the wild flowers, and especially the beautiful trees. At every turn there is something different and wonderful to see, this time of the year is made to be outside as much as you possibly can.  
The spiritual life does not remove us from the world but leads us deeper into it. The truest saying ever must be 'time spent in nature, is never wasted time'.

Naturally the weather forecasters have predicted some terrible storms and issued a number of 'severe weather warnings', as they like to do. We have had [I think] 5 days of rain this month, 25 days of either fantastic or pretty decent weather! The one true storm we had this month was fantastic, thunder and beautiful blue lightning- lasting for hours. I laid on my bed with the curtains wide open, savouring every second. Bodhi showed me he is just a little puppy after all, burying his head under my armpit, and needing buckets of reassurance, bless him!

Obviously I have been on a steam train this month, something new to me!
I have also been to a few different woods, lanes and other places with Bodhi, it is so nice seeing him progress into a happy little soul. I think he enjoys soaking up the views as much as me!
One late evening found me and him walking along the ridgeway til about 11pm, it was warm still, and we were blessed to see a lovely orange and red sunset, my camera doesn't do colours very well, so no point in a poor quality photo on here, but my eyes and my heart saw it.
Its nice being up so high, and seeing the day settle into night over the valley, and the air as it cools down and softly blows over my hot skin is wonderful.

I have woken very early this month, often at 5:30am. But if the day is nice or looks like it will be a nice day, then an early start is fine with me. There is something magical about waking up as the day is also waking up, the air is clean and pure, and the sky is often magnificent.
I love greeting the morning sunshine, seeing the birds full of life and generally being out there, right amongst it all.

I completely did my Mums garden for her, including all the pots, weeding, mowing and rubbish removal.
Sadly I didn't hear from anyone in the family about any ideas they may have to help her, so I don't know what will happen now. But, for now, she is happy and proud of her colourful little space. 
I'm not sure I have the energy, but she would still like a wooden fence erected, also she wants her new side fence and gate creosoted, if anyone wants to help?
Also, anyone fancy spraying some weed killer on the brambles in her back garden? She cut her face on the bloody things, and is worried her little dog might get cut. Maybe someone could strim them down?
The front gravel area also needs weedkiller sprayed on it.

A nice thing that someone could do for her would be to take her to Southsea for the day, or even just a few hours. She has asked me to look at coach trips there, she wants to take Toby along the beach for an hour. I'm sure she would like it if someone could drive her, or maybe go on the coach with her, just to help her on and off, and give her some company? Obviously any week day or even a weekend would be fine with her. Anyone fancy it?

Also, she would love a tower [like the council displays] in her front garden. Either metal or wood. That way, she would only need the one display, and could actually reach it to weed and water it. You know the sort of thing, large round at the base, with two more rounds each getting smaller!
Anyone have any ideas, please?

She has had a lot of trouble with her hip and knee during this month, and even got me to take her to look at some disabled 'carts'. She is worrying about being housebound once I am off on my travels. She would need a little shed built at the side of her place, if she was to ever get one...but this is not something I can easily do or afford at the moment. Again, I would ask the family if they can suggest anything, please?

She had to cope for two days without her mobile phone- and was crawling the walls, bless her! She said she felt miserable without it, it is her lifeline....and there was me thinking it was just dead head teenagers with their heads bowed towards their phones every 2 minutes!!!

So yeah, a pretty good month. However, I dearly wish that I was somewhere else! I can't wait to move on now, I never tend to settle for too long, and this place has more than worn out its welcome!
I find this town to be one long bore, there is very little here for me on a spiritual level, if the sun shines and I feel like a walk, I have to head out of the town. There are some nice places once you leave this drab place behind.
The UK has approx 2000 towns, 5000 villages, 60 plus cities, plus lots of beaches, countryside areas, hamlets, woods and forests. Why would anyone want to be stuck in just one place?

Most* of my stuff has been sold, given away or thrown away now, and the house is actually quite empty. It is no longer a home.
I really miss my meditation room. Obviously I still meditate, but it isn't the same. Most of my stuff is boxed up and stored away. I dream of the day I can put everything around me once more, certain things are good for the soul on a deep spiritual level- and I really do miss those things, A LOT.
Perhaps in my next blog I will be in my Motorhome?! Lets hope so!
I am actually getting quite excited now and during the long hours of insomnia, I often imagine decorating the inside of my new home, and imagine how it will look and feel. I want to get away from it all, have some solitude and be able to breathe, to move, to live.
I really want to get back into my meditation -and will have a little sacred place in my motorhome. I also want to do more Japa walking, get back to writing poetry, do my terrible drumming, read some books, take photos and maybe even make videos of my journey...and life!

You don't need to ask me to keep you as a friend on Facebook, those that are decent and interesting will be staying. But it is getting towards the time where I need to delete a lot of groups and pages that I am in, and get rid of the brain dead people sheeple too.
As you know, I am going to simplify my life, this is just one more step I need to take.

If you like this blog, pop your email into the box [top left] and you will get an email when I next write, thanks! -x-

The pic below was taken on Friday 13th in Chilton, Oxfordshire. I just happened upon this glorious site. I posted the pic on Facebook, and the following day my spiritual brother Stu [and man of the earth], felt compelled to go there, and took even better photos! The following day saw at least 4 other friends visiting this magical and inspirational field. Proof that nature connects.

Did you find the 'follow Bry' button?

The things I have seen, the places I have been, the energy I have felt. Not once have they been found indoors!

A like minded soul- 20 mins long tho!

I could have written this....well worth 6 mins?

If you only have time to watch one of these, firstly that is a great shame, you should ask yourself why, but if time is a problem for you- please watch the 6 min vid, it is so worth your 6 minutes...

May every sunrise bring you hope and may every sunset bring you peace.  Be well, enjoy your July. Keep being ridiculous [or a rebel, if that fits!] 

PEACE -x-      The Quiet this.

Contracts have now been signed, my completion date is just around the corner!!!!! EXCITED!!! 

There is a bit of a delay, due to my buyers buyers solicitor being a slow arsehole! But there is light at the end of the tunnel, maybe a few more weeks- then I'll be dust !!!
I may not blog next month, depends on where I am, my internet access, and if I can be bothered! 
I shall be very busy from now on- but all in a very good cause. Wish me luck. Don't forget to add your Email address top left, and you will get a notification when I next blog. Thankyou for taking the time to read my blogs, it does mean a lot to me. See you on the other side. -x-x-x

*FAMILY:- If there is anything you want/need, give me a bell please THIS WEEK, I need to get shot of a lot of things, also- if anyone has a couple of hours spare and would like to give me a hand, I would really appreciate it, thankyou -x-

I have managed to creosote Mums side fence and gate, and I am working on a shed for her [if she gets a mobility scooter]

One other thing- once I get the motorhome, does anyone have any carpet/rugs/mats or carpet tiles they don't want, please? Also, any sheets, single or double will be cool? Thankyou -x-

A cool tune...

...and another!

...and a third!

Sunday, 1 June 2014

19. Bodhisattva

Sometimes the people around you won't understand your journey. They don't need to - it's not for them.

If you are reading this, then I hope that something good happens to you today -x-

1st June 2014.  >>>Click this Elephant

Well, its been a crazy few months for me, lots of things have been happening, that sometimes it is hard to keep up! Just to recap, I have sold my house and once complete I am buying a Motorhome and going travelling. I write about this in my blog as something to eventually look back on, maybe miles away on a rainy afternoon?
I have much to say in these blog posts, just my [warped?] view on society, the way we are EXPECTED to live our lives, and the crap we are supposed to deal with!
This blog is just a forum for me to empty my head into, so if you agree or like it- keep reading, if not- give it a miss!
This blog is how I see the world, my PERSONAL views and opinions. Enjoy?

During May, on a particular warm and sunny Saturday, I took my old Mum to a local fete, which she loved, she doesn't get out much, so it made a nice change for her. Sometimes it is the simple pleasures in life, at the end of the day she said "I LOVED today".

The following day found me travelling for a couple of hours to have a look at a lovely border collie called WOODY. 
Sadly he wasn't for me, it was quite clear that he had severe mental issues!

Then on the Monday I was off on my travels again... and I can now introduce the newest member of the Fox family. He is a 5 month old little rascal, and I am calling him 'BODHI' [pronounced Bow-dee]. 
Introducing Mr Bodhi Fox.
DOB 25/12/2013.

He needs lots and lots of training and buckets of love, then he will be ready to become my travelling partner! He was born and lived on a farm, only ever meeting two humans, and never going on a lead- so everything is brand new to him right now, and obviously a little scary too, he didn't like my music, jumped when the kettle clicked or I ran a tap! Bless him. I love his odd little nature and the fact that he has a floppy ear!
I think [and hope] that he will be ideal for me, the farmer I bought him from said he loved travelling in the landrover, and he seemed very contented in my car.

I feel contented and very happy with my new little friend, he has a wonderful spirit.

I will however be keeping an open mind, and if it doesn't work out with Bodhi, if I feel he is too stressed and better off with someone who has lots of land, then I am aware that I do have an option.
But, I am very determined, I have patience and understanding, and will do my best to coax him along with nothing but love and praise, I expect him to come out of his shell, and be a happy and well loved little boy.

Bodhi in Buddhism is the understanding possessed by a Buddha regarding the nature of things. It is traditionally translated into English with the word enlightenment and literally means awakened. So I shall be spending my time training, looking after and showing Bodhi what it is to be loved and constantly cuddled! 
I love walking, my doctor says it will do the Osteoarthritis good, and I am sure little Bodhi will not want to sit still for very long!

So, all going to plan, myself and Bodhi would hope to be out of the house for a life on wheels very soon. Exciting times ahead.

I may be making videos of my travels on You Tube, if I do then I will post a link on here, for those that are interested.

Very alert little boy

Isn't it crazy how we can look back a year ago and realise how much everything has changed? The amount of people that have left your life, entered, and stayed. The memories you won't ever forget and the memories you wish you did.

In a year, I have changed jobs, been sacked, been skint, become the main carer to my old Mum, been diagnosed with Osteoarthritis, seen people fade away and welcomed new people into my world.
I have friends who are no longer in a relationship, new relationships formed, changed jobs, moved home, friends who have had a terrible time recently, and friends diagnosed with awful illness and diseases.

People have died, and people have been born. It’s crazy how all that happened in just one year.
We can only hang on, and wish for a better year to come, and to take whatever positives we can from the last year.
We also need to question ourselves and review [often] how and why we live exist as we do, if it is exactly how we had imagined our lives, then we should carry on, if not, we should seek alternatives.

It’s funny how someone who was just a stranger last year, can mean so much to you now. It’s terrible that someone who meant so much to you last year can be just a stranger now. It’s amazing what a year can do.
But, in a way, that is the beauty of life, never knowing what's around the corner, not being stuck in a rut and embracing the change when it comes along. Life is so unpredictable and you never know what is coming next. Don't ever get too comfortable, always be ready for change.
I know a lot of what I say may be 'hippy bullshit', but these are my thoughts, deep and reflective, but always honest.

We are born in one day. We die in one day. We can change in one day, and we can fall in love in one day. Anything can happen in just one day so make this YOUR day, and every day after it. Sometimes you will never know or appreciate the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory.

I think you need to associate with people that inspire you, people that challenge you to rise higher, people that make you better. Don't waste your valuable time with people that are not adding to your growth. Your destiny is too important.
The very purpose of our life is happiness, which is sustained by hope. We have no guarantee about the future, but we exist in the hope of something better. Hope means keeping going, thinking, ‘I can do this.’ It brings inner strength, self-confidence, the ability to do what you do honestly, truthfully and transparently.

Too often we are entangled in short sightedness. We need to adopt a more far reaching view, have we forgotten our basic human values? If we want to live in a better world, who do we think is going to bring it about? Only we human beings. Such change won't come about if we wait for governments or the UN to take action, but if we take initiative as individuals. The more I become awake, the more I see the whole world is ridiculous, greedy, nasty and totally short sighted!
What we need is confidence and determination. Once we have those, we can set our own goals towards life in a better world.

Time is our most precious treasure because it is limited. We can produce more wealth, but we cannot produce more time. When we give someone our time, we actually give a portion of our life that we will never take back! 
The true fact is, your time is running out. It really is. You have lost today, and will never get it back. How did you spend that very precious time today and how will you spend your time tomorrow? Do at least one special thing each and every day, give thanks for this day, because [sadly] one day, it will be your last day. Make each day count.
One day you may find yourself walking down the lane of regret and sorrow.
Life is short, smile while you still have teeth!

Time [to me] isn't really that important, I don't have a bedtime or a time to eat, I tend to sleep when I feel sleepy, get up when my body wakes me, and eat if I am hungry. But this is worth thinking about...
Time decides who you meet in your life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your behaviour decides who stays in your life.

I think we all have this perfect picture in our minds of how things are supposed to be, and thats why we all end up disappointed! The sad thing is, rather than recognising this, we tend to just plod on, whilst feeling a little disappointed becomes the norm. I firmly believe that once we look around, see what life has to offer, and the feeling of either negatively, disappointment or even perhaps resentment creeps into your mind- then it MUST be time to take stock, before
 you find yourself walking down the lane of regret and sorrow.

We must stop and think, really think about what we have created. It seems to me that we sacrifice our health in order to make money. Then we sacrifice money to recuperate our health, and then we are so anxious about the future that we do not enjoy the present, the result being that we do not live in the present or the future, we lives as if we are never going to die, and then we die having never really lived.

Perhaps I don't take life seriously- but then again, I don't want to. If the meaning of life is to rush off to work and get a bollocking for being 5 minutes late, or being controlled because of work [wear this, don't wear that, shave, speak this way, think our thoughts...]- then count me out!
My happiness has never and will never revolve around work. I spend my time my way, that is happiness to me!

There comes a day when you realise turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realise there’s so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.

The only keeper of your happiness is you. Stop giving people power to control your smile, your worth and your attitude. PEACE -x-

Being true to yourself is the first step to happiness.

When you realise that you're constantly treating a person a lot better than they treat you, it’s time to make a change

Thankyou Mark for the gift of the feather [middle one]. I feel blessed -x-

So... I have to mention the saga of my dear old Mum once again. She is desperate for help in her garden, so she got some random bloke to 'help'. She said he did no more than 5 minutes work and promised to come back the following day to mow her lawn and finish off what he never started. Obviously she has never seen him since!
He fleeced her of £25! My Mum is upset and angry, so am I.
Something terrible is going to happen if she uses any old dickhead, I can't allow that.
What do you do with old people eh? Even those in the family that offer to help get told 'No'. She told me she wants the family to visit, not to work! Bless her!!
I think my back should hold out to do it though, I never ask her- I just do it!

I am managing my Osteoarthritis quite well, it is painful most of the time, but I am usually able to put it to the back of my mind, and just get on with life. However, after a particularly busy day of potting up, mowing grass and weeding for my Mum- I was in agony!!
So, what are the options? I continue to do it? The family sort out a rota? We club together and pay a gardener once a month? Anyone in the family got an idea, please? Can we sort this out..this week?

She sometimes has the bloke from across the road do her lawn, but he is 70 this year, and broke his back a couple of years ago.

She was looking forward to seeing one of her sons, that she hasn't seen since last September. He visited her this month, arriving at 1pm and going by 3pm. Sad.
Anyway, after a recent chat with her, where she said that she would like to ride on a steam train before she dies...I have arranged this, and next weekend we will be on a very old steam train going across the Buckinghamshire countryside. I am keeping it a surprise tho!!!

It does bother me that anyone could have arranged this. It also bothers me that I have taken her to 5 fetes or sales this month, again anyone could do this for her. The reason it bothers me is that in a very short space of time, perhaps just a few more weeks, I will no longer be able to do this for her... what then?

My fave photo

Outside- where my soul lives

A nice bimble in the sunshine, so good for the soul
Licking his chops !!

I am more than aware that I think and feel differently to a lot of people, I have no real idea why. It is true that I have become disillusioned with society, I don't fit in and don't want to- it has little to offer me. But [on the whole] I love life and love many people, I feel like the richest person in the world at times and am blessed with decent friends...but at the same time, I feel 'lost'. 
I may not be someone’s first choice, but I think I'm a great choice.
I may not be rich, but I'm valuable. 

don't pretend to be someone I'm not, because I'm good at being me. 
I know that I am confusing to some people, and often to myself! I describe myself as a hippy, Pagan, Buddhist, Lightworker, Spiritual wanderer who speaks in a punk/hippy way, dresses in tie-dye and rags and loves music, poetry, nature and meditation. I'm a bit of a miss-mash of things, unconventional, different, a contradiction who stinks of Patchouli... but I'm always open and honest. Some people will never like me, and I will never give a fuck.
I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery anyday!
I might not be proud of some of the things I've done in the past, but I'm proud of being able to let go of who I once was, and welcome who I am today. I may not be perfect, but I don't need to be. Take me as I am or watch me as I walk away!
Sometimes the people around you won't understand your journey. They don't need to- it's not for them.
The only people I owe my loyalty to are those who never made me question theirs.
May we all wake up. May we all become enlightened. May Mother Earth come back into balance. May we all heal - physically, emotionally, spiritually and on a planetary level. May love become our religion. -x-

5 months of whiskers !!!

If two hearts are meant to be friends, no matter how long it takes, how far they go, how tough it seems, fate will bring them together to share friendship forever.

My message...

Perfect sky

This isn't true for everyone, but it might resonate with some.
I want to live simply, I don't want to be governed by money, I want to live without governments, control, the clock, or any artificial restraints that humanity willingly imposes on itself. 
I want to listen to my body, fall asleep when the moon is high and wake slowly with no place to rush off too.
I want to sit by the window when it rains and read books, go on the internet, write poetry, meditate or snooze.
I want to paint, draw or write not because someone is going to pay me for my time or because I have something to prove.
I want to walk, with no place in mind and at my own pace. I want to eat and drink when I feel the need, not when I am told it is lunchtime.
I want to spend time in nature, soaking up all it has to offer, I want to watch clouds drift by, knowing I am not supposed to be somewhere else. I want to watch wildlife and enjoy all the seasons.
I don't want to prostitute myself, feeling tied down to earning money in a job I don't like.
I want to travel, to see many different places, to take photographs and enjoy the places I find. I want to do this knowing I can take as long as I want.
I don't want to live within four walls, I want less 'stuff' to clutter my life. I want to soak up scenery so that it fills my very soul. 
I want to live simply, in a life that I create for myself, doing as I please, tasting freedom and experiencing total peace, fulfillment and happiness.
I want living to become the important thing, not making a living.
I just want to be me, boundless and infinite. 

It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. 

OMG, by the looks of this photo- I am in danger of looking like a hippy !!!

This is from My Facebook, for those that I am not friends with over there. I may have posted this before, but can't be bothered to look!

About you

I live my life MY way, and to be honest- fuck everyone else. This is my journey...a spiritual wanderer...When you're walking, your senses are alert. You are truly alive.
You notice curious birds hovering overhead, a blade of grass fluttering in the breeze, the sounds of a trickling stream, the shape of the cloud, and the way the wind ripples the water on the lake.
You will marvel at how the combination of all these things on this particular day at this particular moment will never again be repeated in the entire history of the universe in quite the same way, and feel so grateful.
Others may be making the same journey as you, but the paths they choose to the top may be different. They’ll see different things, and experience the day uniquely.
No one will ever experience this moment in the same way as you.

That could easily be said about ALL your life.

Like many, I made the mistake of thinking the outside ‘things’ made me happy, but I realised that true happiness comes from within. Which is why I meditate. Meditation keeps me centred and level, therefore I can deal with anything that comes my way in a calm measured way.

I'm a Buddhist, a hippy, Pagan, dreamer, Lightworker, Meditator, Author and spiritual wanderer. I am awake. I am Wanderlust.

I write a blog 'The ramblings of Bry', which I usually update on the 1st of the month. If you want to follow my journey, or just read some thought out stuff from my head, send me a PM, and I will send you the link. PEACE -x-

My interests include.................. Music, Meditation, The Sky, Family, Love, Peace, Ishi, Light, Truth, Bliss, Lightworking, Spiritualism, Feathers, Harmony, Energy, Native American Indians, Thinking, The woods, Atheism, Love, Travelling, Reading, Agnosticism, Trees, Hippies, Drumming, Stone circles, the internet, Psychology, Honesty, Buddha, Species, Nature, Hugs, Dreams, Cosmic ordering, The Great Spirit, Cosmos, Spirit, Soul, music, Angels, Past lives, Clouds, Tranquillity, Teaching, Chocolate, Choices, Nirvana, Travellers, Reincarnation, Ocean, Eyes, Freedom, Reflexology, Mountains, Clairvoyance, Telepathy, Empathy, Anarchy, Crystals, Night, Astrology, Unidentified flying object, Rain, All 4 seasons, Free spirits, Books, Peace, Photos, Candles, Soulmates, the colours of the sky, Alchemy, Magick, Wishes, Dreams, Mysticism, Infinity, New Age, Third eye, Eternity, Dimensions, Quantum Physics, DNA, The Isle of Avalon, Pyramids, Rainbows, Moon, Sun, Stars, Camp fires, Drugs, Art, Sociology, Psychedelia, Consciousness, ‘into the wild’, Graves, Avalon, Scenery, Silly socks, Purple, Walking, Thinking, Being, Occult, Esoteric, Politics, Sleeping, Autumn, Lucid Dreaming, Next Life, Magnets, Eating, Confucianism, Buddhism, Science, Tattoos, Perception, Friendship, Shadow people, Children, Theology, Spirituality, Words, Meditation, Poetry, Glastonbury, Nag Champa, Karma, Writing, Crop Circles, Stonehenge, Life and Ishi-my spirit guide.

Family meet up, May 2014.
Mum at the meet up.
Finally, I have arranged for the family to have three meet ups per year. Often people only get together for weddings and funerals. Weddings are OK, although people tend to stay within their little groups, funerals are obviously not the time or place to have a chat and a laugh whilst the kids play.
So I have decided that once every 4 months, Jan, May and Sept, we could all get together.

So this month saw the first of these meet ups, it was a VERY wet day to begin with, but dry after 11am, and despite a 5 car pile up on the A34, loads of people turned up, 20 adults and about 8 kids. 
Sadly a few people that I thought might turn up, didn't. Maybe there was something on the tele?

For those that did make the effort, it was so nice to see all the kids spending time with each other, they spent a long time in the garden playing 'tig', and generally running around to let off steam with lots of smiles and laughter.
The rest of us enjoying a meal and a few drinks, and a catch up with various family members, some playing pool, others having a natter- a really nice day [for all concerned], lets hope for a sunnier day in September?!! 
Mark came in carrying a present for me, a glorious and beautiful feather!! Thankyou, it really is absolutely appreciated mate.

It is now quite obvious that certain family members don't see themselves as such, minimal contact with anyone, missing out on two of the kids recent birthday do's, not attending a wedding last year, not going to my Mums special birthday meal and now not bothering with the family meet up. 
I think it is a shame for their kids, who really miss out on these special days. But some people live in a closed off little bubble I suppose. I only hope that one day they don't regret their decision to keep their children away from these fun times.
Saying that, it is a decision that they have obviously thought through, so I respect their decision, and wish them well.
Family meet up, happy children.

Everything you experience mirrors a part of you.

Click PLAY this !!!


I am not sure if there will be an entry next month, depends on the move really- but I will catch up soon.

Be well, hope everyone had a fantastic May?

Lets hope for better weather in June, where we can all get out and about every single day to soak up some much needed vitamin D, and reconnect with mother earth and all she has to offer.

I hope that wherever you may find yourself that you do actually find yourself, and that you are blessed with sunshine, smiles and good health.

May every sunrise bring you hope and may every sunset bring you peace.