Wednesday 30 July 2014

21. The whole universe has come together to make your existence possible.

21.  The whole universe has come together to make your existence possible.




in the heart....  

This is my LAST ever blog, whilst 'living' in a house!!!! Yep- finally, I have managed to break the shackles of the mortgage, utility bills, council tax and all the other bullshit that we as a society readily accept as the way it HAS to be............

This blog was written during the month of July, so obviously certain things may have changed by the time you get to read this.

I can hardly believe we are in August already! Such a quick year...the years seem to pass faster as I get older, maybe that is why I am on this quest to slow my life down, and do things I have never done before? It is a short life- so we might as well enjoy it.
If life doesn't seem to be moving in the direction you thought it might, Just chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on.
Be you, the world will adjust.

I will start emptying my head this month with this...

Do not try to reason with government, that is impossible.
Only try to realise that the idea of external authority is an illusion, there is no higher authority in your life than you.

The rest are simply a few life lessons/observations that either I have learnt or need to remember, based on my thinking that the whole universe has come together to make your existence possible.





NOTHING, is becoming rare and precious, everything is hype, noise, desire, desperation, speed and greed. We in the modern world are good at 'doing', but anemic at 'being'. Entertainment, computers, television, shopping, texting whilst we are supposed to be spending precious time with someone, or whilst walking and even driving. We cannot 'do' properly until we first learn to 'be' fully. If we practise doing nothing then we can achieve anything.
I think...therefore I don't have much in common with a lot of people!

Most people spend more time at work than they do with their loved ones! Sooner or later, you just want to be around the people who make you smile.  So today, spend time with those who help you love yourself more, and remember, the people you take for granted today may be the only ones you need tomorrow.  Never be too busy to make time for those who matter most. Family can sometimes be friends, friends can sometimes become family, I am blessed to have several spiritual brothers and sisters out there, for that I am more grateful than I can express -x-

The most beautiful thing is to see a person you love smile, and even more beautiful is knowing that you are the reason behind it.




Hearts are sometimes broken by the words we leave unspoken. Today, the only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday.  Prove yourself to yourself, not others.

Sometimes your mind needs more time to accept what your heart already knows.  Breathe, be a witness, not a judge and listen to your intuition.
Instead of complaining about your circumstances, get busy creating new ones.  You either suffer the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.  Most of the time, the only difference between who you are and who you want to be, is what you do.  
Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?  Stop living for other people and their opinions.  Be true to YOU. I actually know of several people who modify their lifestyle or conform because it is expected of them, this fills me with nothing but sadness.
There is good reason why you should wake each morning and mindfully consider what and who you will give your day to.  Because unlike other things in life – love, money, respect, good health, hope, opportunities, and many more – time is the one thing you can never get back once it’s gone.
Sometimes life seems hard, but we often make it harder than it is.  All you ever have to decide is what to do next. It really is this simple.  You don't have to have it all figured out to move forward.  Just do the best you can until you know better.  Once you know better, do better.
In life you are either a passenger or a pilot, it’s your choice. 
Not everything that’s faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it’s faced.  Problems are not stop signs, they’re guidelines.  If you want it, work for it.  It’s that simple.  Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming the things you couldn’t. A problem is something that can be solved, otherwise it would be called an impossibility.

Remember, growth and change may be painful sometimes, but nothing in life is as painful as staying stuck where you don't belong.
You may have to go through the worst, to get to the best.  Good things take time.  Stay patient and stay positive, everything is going to come together; maybe not immediately, but eventually.

Never forget where you've been.  Never lose sight of where you're going, and never take for granted the people who travel the journey with you.

We often forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but of deeply appreciating what we do have.  No, you won't always get exactly what you want, but remember this: There are lots of people who will never have what you have right now. 

Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you.  Too many people depend on others, or outside sources, to gain happiness, but the truth is it always comes from within.
Happiness never comes to those who don't appreciate what they have.  You must be willing to loosen your grip on the life you have planned so you can enjoy the life that is waiting for you now.

You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren't busy denying them.
If you've been asking the same questions for a long time, yet are still stuck, it’s probably not that you haven’t been given the answers, but that you don't like the answers you were given.  Remember, it takes a great deal of courage to admit that something needs to change, and a lot more courage still, to accept the responsibility for making the change happen.

Never force anything- do your best, then let it be.  If it’s meant to be, it will be.  Don't hold yourself down with things you can't control, sometimes you have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting.  Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how it’s meant to be.




You're not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago. You're always growing, experiences don’t stop.  That’s life. My life has moved in many different directions, and I am about to totally change everything once again, it is what keeps me going, I have always had a thirst for knowledge, I have always loved nature and I suppose I was always destined to live an alternative lifestyle. I am now on the cusp of feeding my wanderlust soul- and I am so fucking excited !!!!!!!!!!!!!


You know, at school they told me I could be anything I wanted to be- so I chose to be ME!!!!




IT TAKES NOTHING TO JOIN THE CROWD. IT TAKES EVERYTHING TO STAND ALONE.


I'm sure that everyone is pretty pissed off with me mentioning my old Mum on here, but as I didn't hear from anyone in the family over the past three months regarding ideas they may have to help her live a slightly easier life, Incase you are not aware-  she has had a lot of trouble walking this past month and is in constant pain. 
This month alone, I have taken her to 6 doctors appointments and to see the nurse 4 times. 
She has now decided on getting a mobility scooter, PLEASE can someone help her with this, in arranging it? She is trying to do it herself, but can't hear anyone on the phone.
She needs a shed built first, with electric and a decent lock. I think her neighbour from down the road is going to build it, but this needs following up.
She also needs a wooden fence built at the front, and would LOVE a water butt out the front, she is paying for water via a water meter, so it is costing quite a bit to water her little pots, plus she has to drag 4 watering cans from the kitchen down the steps to the front garden- is there anyone that could possibly do this for her, she will pay for the butt and give you some money for doing the job? If no one wants to do it, could someone ask around, and perhaps find someone who can do it- who won't rip her off?
At the moment she is paying to have her grass cut, but I have arranged for the council to visit once a month, so this should now get done.
She was also paying another neighbour to walk her little dog, as she is struggling with it, but after he disappeared for over 3 hours [a friend of hers saw him take Toby into his house], that is obviously now not happening!
I just feel that it is a real shame that this old lady is paying people to do her garden, shop for her, walk her dog etc- life really shouldn't be like this, should it? Is this really how things have to be, when we get older we have to pay people to give us a helping hand?

I know she is difficult to deal with, and I know she has been offered help and asked what jobs she needs doing- I know she wants people to visit her, rather than doing jobs etc. But if we are all aware what needs doing, maybe we can [between us], just get things done?

I am flat out with the move, then buying the motorhome, then moving in and decorating it etc, then I will be travelling. I will no longer be about, so please could someone kindly do some research on astro turf please? Mum would like it on her front garden- maybe someone could measure up, and have a trawl of the web, please?
Obviously a lot of this has been written early this month, so maybe some of this stuff has been done by now?

I think I have finally sorted out her much needed ramps front and rear- watch this space!!

She is also really worried about shopping, and wonders if she could manage to bus into Abingdon once a fortnight. Obviously, she can't struggle on like this. 
Please, is there anyone that could run her in just for an hour once a fortnight, any day or evening will be great? She will pay you.
I think it is best just to text her, and say I am over on whatever day, and will be going to Tesco, you can come with me- that way you are not 'putting yourself out', which is generally what she thinks and worries about!!
The whole universe has come together to make your existence possible, to exist in a decent way is to be kind, considerate, caring and helpful.
I hope at the next family meet up that people tell me they have cut her brambles down, built a shed, found out about astro turf, got a water butt, helped her with phone calls or taken her shopping. I hope this does happen, she deserves it.

More than that- I hope she will accept your help! All we can do is to keep on trying, and hope we eventually get through to her?!


Spirituality is not about what you know. It is about growing, deepening, evolving, and becoming a living reflection of your spiritual identity.




A confused little boy looks on...

So, I have had a busy few months getting ready for the big move. I decorated all the rooms in my house in order to have it looking nice for when it went on the market, and it sold the very first day, for slightly more than the asking price.
Despite asking people for help, unfortunately everyone seemed to be too busy this year, which was a great shame, as I could have really used their help, not just now- but any time during the past year. Moving furniture on your own is never a good idea! 
It is difficult to move on your own, even getting the motivation is virtually impossible, especially when I didn't know what to do next! Some days my head was full of stuff, do I take some stuff to the tip first, or box up some more, shall I start with sorting through cupboards, advertise my stuff for sale, clean and tidy, sort through a myriad  of stuff, clean out my shed, throw away clothing and unwanted items, or shall I do another charity shop drop.... I found that my energy was very soon depleted, especially as you have to carry on with normal life, like walking the dog, cooking, taking my Mum shopping and to various medical appointments. 
I have honestly never been this hot or this tired in my whole life. It has been back breaking at times. I shall need a good rest to get over this!
But, people are busy and I appreciate that.

What I think is a real shame is the amount of stuff I had to take to the tip, it seems such a waste. I did a few charity shop drops, and one of my nephews is doing a boot sale which will include a box full of my stuff.
Although I don't like waste, it has to be this way I suppose, as I can't take it with me. I have offered stuff for free time and again, but no takers. I suppose this reflects the world we live in, we all have too much shit. But I had some nice stuff, a pc, printer, brand new or newish things including iron, toaster, dvd's, cushions etc etc -now all binned!
I already know that I am taking far too much, and will no doubt be downsizing even more once I get everything into my motorhome.
I have learnt that from now on, I will also be far too busy to help anyone move...  EVER.

***THANKYOUS*** To my nephew for storing my crap! Also to another nephew for agreeing to try to sell some bits for me, Ant for helping to pack some boxes, to my neighbour Vee for the amazing gifts and well wishes.... and a BIG thankyou to all the people named below for their time and effort in helping this year to sort out, shift boxes, pack, decorate, empty my shed, load my car, go through cupboards, grab some shopping, cook for me, shift furniture, do tip runs, tidy up, look after Bodhi and generally helping me out:-
1, Bry
2.
3.
4.
5.

This month saw me going back to the doctors about my Osteoarthritis [hardly surprising!], I am now on much stronger painkillers, and I have an appointment at the hospital in a few weeks.

In September, we have another family meet up. That will be nice, to link up and watch the kids all having fun. Hopefully it will be a nice day, and we can all chill in the pub garden for a few hours.

Now, I am sure you will all be pleased to know, that from now on...my blogs will be much shorter!! Please read on to find out more. I know I RAMBLE on, but thats the idea of 'rambling'! But thanks, to those who have stuck by me, and read each blog. It does mean a lot -x-

This house moving process is painfully slow
I'm counting the days til I can 'up and go'
I'm bored with packing now, I just want it done
To be able to say my new chapter's begun.

The bookshelves are empty, the cupboards are bare
I feel so knackered, as I sink into this chair
I'm surrounded by boxes, by clutter, by mess
But at least I now have one day less

I've emptied the drawers, I've sorted the shed
Its all packed in boxes, i've dismantled the bed
I've taken the pictures all down from the walls
And they stand bubble wrapped out in the bare hall

Brown tape and packaging litters the floor
I've had enough for today, I can't pack anymore
Still I plod on, nice and steady
Secretly wishing I was gone already

                                                                               Bry Fox 2014.

I changed my mobile phone number this month, then promptly lost all the bloody numbers!! Every single number gone, and trying to get them back has been a nightmare, however- this is a blessing in disguise really. I had 97 numbers stored, now I am down to just 21. Perfect!

Play LOUD.....dirty love !!!!

My favourite Motorhead track...play LOUDER [and dance!]

I have mentioned before that I might be making you tube videos once I am travelling, and I may even give up this blog forever.
Although there isn't a lot on there at the moment, please subscribe to my you tube channel, it is called 'The Ramblings of Bry'. Thankyou -x-
Bry on YouTube



So thats it, by the time you read this, I will have moved out of the house, and hopefully bought a motorhome and moved into it!
I am not looking forward to sleeping in the car between the house and the motorhome, but in a way it will make the first night in the motorhome even better/special/magical!
Today is Thur 17th, 4 more sleeps in this house, and 3 days of back crippling work! After working til 1:30am this morning, and up again at 6:30am, you can imagine that I have WISHED that someone/anyone would just call to see if I would like a hand, even for just 10 mins, sadly it didn't happen. I know that sounds sad and perhaps selfish, but everyone has known that this day was coming for well over a year, but it seems there will be no help, no good luck cards, no calls or even a simple text. Again, this is the sad reflection of how life is now, everyone too wrapped up in their own stuff and working like mad to keep a roof over their heads.

I don't live like this, I certainly don't need this society, I want to live in a world that cares, helps, loves and isn't thought of as being fucking mental if you give someone a friendly wave or smile. We should be ashamed of ourselves for creating this vile insular world, I know I am.

I am here til Monday 21st, but already know that my door will not knock, and my phone will not ring over the weekend. I can't blame people really, moving anyone is hard work. I do appreciate that people are busy, and understand they have other priorities.
If I had any money right now, I would definitely pay someone to give me a hand. But I'm skint...so onwards and upwards!!
I have had no help all year long, and in that time have decorated all rooms, shifted furniture alone, and generally sorted the place out with tip runs etc.

Well, all that sounds fucking miserable! Sorry about that, I don't expect anyone to help me, but that didn't stop me from hoping, wishing and feeling exasperated
I'm not having a 'go', simply stating fact, and I am fully aware that if it wasn't for my amazing nephew Gra, I would be totally stuck for storage, he has given up a huge chunk of his lounge for me, and I am truly grateful and blessed to have him in my life.
I appreciate the offers to stay at various places, thankyou for the cuppas and meals, kind words and love that I have been shown.

In my September blog, you will get to see my new forever home on wheels, a home that will give me the freedom I desperately need. I'm full of vorfreude when I think ahead.
I'm sure it will take a bit of getting used to, but I already know that it will be a million times better that paying a rip off mortgage, and living in a place that has trapped me and tried squeezing the life out of me for far too long. It will be so nice to be away from the fluoride victims of this dead end town. 
The most exciting thing to ever happen in this town is the demolishing of 3 cooling towers, hardly riveting, but many people were pissing themselves, posting RIP messages, changing their covers on FB to that of these ugly and miserable towers, which people hated due to all the shit they pumped into the air, covering washing with little black specs, and cars with a nice fine scratchy powder!! People are now saying they were iconic, sorry- I prefer trees, scenery and natural views.
The landscape will eventually become one of beauty once again, and all these people feel is sadness...WTF?
Sadly, the demolishing team did not expand the area, to include most of the town!!!

If I do make videos, which I think I will, they will be similar to this blog. The reason I called this the ramblings of Bry is that the word ramblings has a double meaning, walking and talking. As you are aware, I love to walk, and hopefully my videos will show you some of what I get to experience along the way as I tramp around any place I choose to call home, for how ever long. I will probably also make videos where I just ramble on about life, my thoughts and other bullshit!
You might find it entertaining, so join me on my journey of metanoia? It will save you from reading a very wordy blog, which I no longer intend to do.
Please subscribe to my channel. I will catch up with you there!

Maybe it will be more fun for you to sit and watch a video, soaking up the scenery and seeing me ramble on- than reading my millions of words?
I'm sure the videos will be crap at first, until I get used to my new camera and editing etc, so please stick with me. It will be nice for me to know that my friends are there with me in spirit.

People, lets change the world shall we? If we know, or even THINK that someone might be able to use a hand, lets knock their door and ask. If we see a broken down vehicle, lets not drive past, let us stop, we might not be a mechanic, but we can offer moral support, a friendly ear, shelter in our vehicle or let them use our phone. If we know of someone struggling financially, lets just quietly put a fiver through their letter box. If we see a cry for help facebook status, lets not 'like' it, lets send them a personal message. Lets push an old persons shopping trolley to their car, help someone on the bus, stop and wave someone across the road, give a cold drink to the dustmen, say please and thankyou all the time, smile at strangers, help people up steps, take someones bin out for them, offer to mow a lawn or cut a hedge, do all we can for elderly relatives to make their final few years a little more bearable - lets change things. If we see someone who looks upset, lets stop and ask if they are OK. Lets become human, shall we?

I love you all. See you on the other side. PEACE -x-

Bry- house dweller

For the very last time I close the door at 44
I now leave this drab town which has become a bore
Shutting behind me a chapter from my past
finally the time has come to move on at last

Through the curtainless windows I peek through
scanning empty rooms I shall never again step into
How strange they seem when stripped and bare
it was as if I was never there

Till the house is but an image fading from sight
like a street light dying in the dead of night
Round the corner then finally its out of view
my wanderlust soul is happy to be heading somewhere new


Bry Ishi Fox 2014


Finally, its over, I did it........................


My car, my new temporary dwelling


As expected, it is now Monday 21st in the evening, not a single call from anyone in the family, not even a simple two word text. It hurts, but this is life I suppose? 
Not a message or comment on Facebook, just to wish me well. 
No well wishes or good luck messages, just... Nothing...................... NOTHING.

There is a lot of negativity in this months blog which I don't apologize for as I write from the heart. Moving is said to be one of the most stressful things you can do, so maybe that is part of it?
I also believe we become like the environment we find ourselves in, and living in a drab and dull town wears you down...
But life is moving on now, I can let that crap settle and fade from me now, onto pastures new.

*************************************************

Update. Just a quick update, as you can Imagine, I have been and am very busy right now, and will be for another 2 or 3 weeks.
My internet connection is a bit hit and miss right now, but I have 2 internet dongles to get to grips with, plus my new camera- so lots of reading, playing and swearing ahead!

I have now had a couple of calls and texts from the family, which I really appreciate. I have stayed in my car in a couple of places, which has been fine, I have loved the cool air on my face, the stars, the solitude and the much needed time to chill out and calm down.
I have stayed at my wonderful nieces place, thankyou Hayley -x-
Thanks to Mark, for the lifts and for being there when I chose 'Jibz'. Thanks to Zoe and Aydan for the address, and to anyone else I have forgotten -x-

The best news...I now have purchased my home!! I will be picking JIBZ up shortly, obviously that is what my next blog will be about, but here are a few pics....see you next month!! [Keep an eye on my YouTube channel !]


Home is where you park it.
My new home!
A lot of cash, but cheaper than a house!