Friday, 1 November 2013

12. live like no one else so that you can live like no one else


live like no one else so that you can live like no one else

Most of October turned out to be quite stressful for me, for several reasons. My Mum is doing well, and starting to get about a little easier, although there are loads of things she can’t do at the moment, mostly carrying things, she struggles on with hovering, washing and tidying the place. She is unable to poop scoop her garden, walk the dogs, carry her dinner plate in and several other things. I have been going over 6 days a week, to take her shopping, sort the dogs out, mow the lawn, help with dinner, make her drinks and do her washing and hovering etc.
At the start of the month, I was there from 9am to around 9pm, but by the end of the month I had limited my time over there to about 11am- 4pm.

Zoe goes over one evening per week- which she loves. I know everyone else in the family is busy, but you would think someone has one evening a month to spare, just to keep her company. We are all going to be old one day, lets hope people are not as fucking ignorant when it is our time to ask for help.

I feel exhausted, to be honest. I have put the house/motorhome on hold for this month, but it has made me even more determined to live this lifestyle, it would suit my free spirit nature, I now feel that I ‘NEED’ this!

Also- being on the dole is [in my case] NOT an easy option, I get begging calls from the mortgage company, letters too…and have to call them with updates once a week. Dealing with officialdom from the unemployment office fucking kills me every fortnight! I hate it!

I got a letter from the tax office saying I owe £717 for overpayments of working tax credit. I knew I owed this, but they can whistle!

I have a little bit in the bank, but that is for my MOT, new tyres, welding and to tax the car…that’s my money!!! Fuck the government!!!

So, it has been a shit month really, I feel I have been stopped in my tracks. But, hopefully November will see me moving ahead once more……….

My faith in family has gone, sure people bang on about family, but when it comes down to it, they show just how little they care. Sad really.

My faith in society as we know it is also gone, I believe most politicians to be liars and manipulators – my faith in political activism is gone. After years of being political [whatever that may mean] I am, like many, apathetic. 
I see hardly any distinction between any of the parties, they are out for themselves, and by me voting, means I am playing their game- and voting for more of the same. Fuck the lot of them.
I believe the system is corrupt. I believe that personal freedom is under siege.

I ONLY believe in action now, action for the good of yourself and those closest to you.

I now need to break free from all this bullshit. I desperately need to walk the talk, need to face the man in the mirror, and desperately want to reclaim independence and self-reliance. 

Maybe I'm looking to find the sense of togetherness/solidarity/community that I feel we have lost?

Society has become so suffocating and so unjust that I simply want to leave it. 
I know this sounds radical to most people. “Well, it’s not THAT bad
But it is, and it is getting worse.

I believe the problem of modern politics is that it has become a matter of ingroup/outgroup dynamics. 
It has become a matter of bashing the opponent- not working together to face the problems that we have.

Being close to nature, getting outside every day, living a simple life: it has only made me even more preoccupied with the way we treat it.
The world, that is…and our human potential.

I know that stating such hippie emotions will disqualify me in any rational debate I might engage in. But I have never really thought of myself as rational anyway, but I do feel more ‘awake’ than ever before, more able to see through the bullshit that we in this so called society have created.

There is a lot of talk about people being like sheep, ‘sheeple’, and I am now seeing that more and more. Sure, we all think how marvellously individual we are…all in jobs we hate, all working too many hours, all paying a mortgage, all taking the governments shit, all thinking we are so different from the rest of ‘them’!

I, at some stage, must have made a significant decision when I was young that I have never regretted. Simply put, I decided that I did not have to live my life like everyone else. I would live my own life. I would pursue things of lasting value rather than the newest fads of society chased by everyone else.
It sounds simple enough. Yet, countless multitudes will never make that decision.
Instead, they will succumb to the pressure to conform. They will live their life purchasing the trendiest products and fashion released to the masses – not because they actually need them, but just because their neighbours bought them. They will base many of their life decisions on the celebrity spokespersons pitch of the day. They will waste their energy trying to keep up with the Joneses, all for the elusive purpose of conformity. And in exchange, they will lose their life and forfeit their soul.
Decide today to live your life. You do not need to live life like everyone else. Your life is far too valuable to be wasted on the life that everyone else is choosing.
Your life was never meant to be lived like everyone else. You don’t look the same, you don’t sound the same, and your personality is special. Your deep-held values are unique. Even your laugh sets you apart. Throwing that away just for the sake of looking and living like everyone else is one of the cruellest things that you can ever do – it will always prevent you from fully living your life. Instead, champion the things that make you unique. Celebrate them.
Do not be fooled. The better life is not being mass-produced in a factory… you won’t find it on the shelves in Tesco. It has never been found there, and never will be.
Regularly pull away to meditate, contemplate, and reflect. An unexamined life is not worth living because the pull to conform has always been too great. Our lives will always drift in the direction of conformity if we lose our directional bearings. Withdraw often, review your list of values and reflect on the current path of your life. Are you happy with your life, yourself? Is this how you saw yourself living?
Your life is valuable. It is the greatest asset you own. It holds potential for great things. Don’t let it slip into mediocrity by choosing to live it just like everyone else. Be special, be unique, be the person you always should have been. There is no need to conform, the only person holding you back from living the life you want, is YOU!
 live like no one else so that you can live like no one else

As you will see, I have decided not to make this private. Although [at the moment] no one reads my blog, it doesn't mean they won't ever read it. Besides, as I have said, this blog is for me. So I am keeping it going ...for me! 

However, I welcome any feedback, and would love to know why people don't read my blog. I suppose this is a personal blog, so it wouldn't appeal to many people, and you might have to know me or have an interest in the things I write about, or perhaps be partly on my wave length? Who knows? Without your feedback- I will never know why people stopped reading my stuff. But, like I say, I shall carry on for now- and see where this goes.


Thoughts from within;

Sometimes a part of us must die before another part can come to life.

Sometimes a part of us must die before another part can come to life. Even though this is a natural and necessary part of our growth, it is often painful or, if we don’t realize what’s happening, confusing and disorienting. In fact, confusion and disorientation are often the messengers that tell us a shift is taking place within us. These shifts happen throughout the lives of all humans, as we move from infancy to childhood to adolescence and beyond. With each transition from one phase to another, we find ourselves saying goodbye to an old friend, the identity that we formed in order to move through that particular time. 

Sometimes we form these identities in relationships or jobs, and when we shift those areas of our life become unsettled. Usually, if we take the time to look into the changing surface of things, we will find that a shift is taking place within us. For example, we may go through one whole chapter of our lives creating a protective shell around ourselves because we need it in order to heal from some early trauma. One day, though, we may find ourselves feeling confined and restless, wanting to move outside the shelter we needed for so long; the new part of ourselves cannot be born within the confines of the shell our old self needed to survive. 

We may feel a strange mixture of exhilaration and sadness as we say goodbye to a part of ourselves that is dying and make way for a whole new identity to emerge in its place. We may find inspiration in working with the image of an animal who moults or sheds in order to make way for new skin, fur, or feathers to emerge. For example, I'm forever holding a feather, or some other symbol of transformation, which can remind us that death and rebirth are simply nature’s way of evolving. We can surrender to this process, letting go of our past self with great love and gratitude, and welcoming the new with an open mind and heart, ready for our next phase of life...