Still thinking it all through, and slowly becoming more and more disillusioned with this life that I/we have created.
We are told, and it is instilled within us from a very early age that the ONLY way to live your life is to work hard, pay bills and taxes, get into huge amounts of debt, buy a house, struggle on quietly, survive rather than live your life, work even longer hours, don't go against the grain, be a good boy, don't complain, live as everyone else does ....and we do!
We struggle on and save a few quid, so that once a year we might escape the drudgery of our existence and have a little holiday. But I am thinking, why don't we create a life for ourselves that we don't want to escape from?
We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love. We are here to follow our bliss, seek happiness and enjoy our short lives... and then we return home.
We are the only animals that pay to live on earth! And don't we fucking pay, over and over again. Everything goes up, food, bills, car tax...and we quietly complain, then tighten our belts a little more, to pay the government even more of what WE have earned. There will come a time when each of us simply says no more- there is nothing more that I can give. Then what? Cast aside probably.
We watch politicians and the royal family sitting on piles of cash, we get fleeced by the utilities companies, petrol is a known rip off, as is council tax, car tax etc. Big businesses are getting even bigger and more and more greedy, everything is geared up to fleece us of our hard earned money.
The world is clearly divided into the two halves of those that have it all, and those that have very little. Those that have it all want [and take] even more, the greedy fucking bastards!
But what am I complaining about? I am [currently] choosing this life, and it is a conscious choice that we have all made. There are alternatives out there, if we choose to explore them. It is and should be up to US how we live, and going against the grain is nothing to feel ashamed about.
Living off grid is a cleaner way of living, the wind and sun can provide our power...and I would LOVE to show a big middle finger to the gas and electricity companies!
Like I say, we THINK this is the only way for us to live, maybe it isn't. In the United States, many people are turning against all this bollocks, and living full-time in their RV's. To pay no mortgage, no Electricity and live a simpler life really appeals to me, I often dream of being able to travel around Wales, Cornwall, Scotland and wherever the wind blows me -Why is this just a dream?
An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.
But that isn't everything. Sometimes, I imagine what is really important to me, what I would like to be doing, where I see myself and the role that I play in society....and they all have NOTHING to do with the way I am currently trying to
People often frown upon those who don't conform, those who are not living exactly the same as themselves, and [in the past] New Age Travellers have had a lot of negative press and lies spread about them. Now, instead of grouping up and frightening the life out of some poor village folk, they travel [mostly] alone, soaking up the scenery and living a peaceful life, and more and more people are coming around to this way of thinking/living. I have never had much interest in trying to conform, and seeing what is happening with us being robbed and lied to by the politicians, I want to conform to THEIR way of life even less!
Right now, like many, My days are being shattered by the alarm clock. I am up against time most of the day, as I run myself ragged being a slave to the wage. I charge off to work, when I get there the mental countdown begins, as I simply want to be somewhere else! What are we doing???
Is this the reason so many men go on a mid-life crisis, are they sick of the world that they have created?
Finally, when my working day is over, I come home too knackered to enjoy an evening, or even tidy my house properly!
We work hard, buy a house...then feel TRAPPED in this box. We fill it with all kinds of pointless shit, maybe trying to escape the mundane bullshit of 'life' that we have allowed ourselves to fall into. The more crap we have, the more we want.
I'm sure some people are more than happy to go off to work every day, and to sit at home every evening. After all, that is how they see others live- so why seek something more?
But, for me, it isn't working. I feel life ticking by, there is so much beauty out there, so many nice places, experiences that I am missing out on, mini adventures and most of all, I am not allowing myself the time to enjoy all of these things, or even to see my country!
We have created this fast paced life, and now, at 50 years old, I want to see and experience many things. I have experienced working, paying a mortgage, being in debt, feeling knackered and watching life race by me. It hasn't made me happy to experience these things. Life is about many things, happiness has to be a major reason that we are here, doesn't it?
If we are not happy, we need to take a long look at the life we have created around us, and move on to something else.
We are creatures of habit, and can so easily fall into a trap of living a reasonable life, even a mundane or boring life. But that isn't being fair on ourselves. My soul is craving something else, something magical that I could never get living the way that I currently do.
My hope is that one day if/when we wake up, we will realise that life is not working out how we thought it might. Think back to your parents, they probably struggled on all of their lives, maybe working two jobs or doing overtime, just to get by. They did not become rich by working and suffering the way they did, they lived like this simply to have a roof over their heads and a little food on the table. Moving on, we do the same...learning nothing from our parents. In time, we realise that we work for getting on for 50 years, and have a roof over our heads and a little food on the table. We are in the same place our parents were, all those years back. So what do we do about it... nothing! We then tell our children to do well in school, get a job and buy a house, then work hard forever more! This circle of crap goes on and on, and the only people that it really benefits is the government, who want to keep this cycle of living to continue forever.
Imagine if my days consisted of waking when I have had enough sleep, listening to the birds singing. Having a nice slow pot of coffee, and allowing myself to naturally ease into the day. Imagine having the time to watch a bee on a flower, meditate next to a babbling stream, watch the clouds drift by. Enjoy a stroll or maybe take an afternoon nap. Enjoy watching the sunset, as there is no rush to be out of bed the following morning.
I imagine seeing as many sunsets/rises as possible. I imagine living a quiet, stress free and peaceful life, seeing my country, and having the time to enjoy the experiences along the way. I imagine living my life.
This will be a big step for me, which is why I am taking the time to really consider my next steps. If I make a mistake, there may be no way back. On the other hand, what is there to come back to? Once again...why don't we create a life for ourselves that we don't want to escape from?
So, it is the middle of May 2013. I am not going to push myself into anything, and set silly targets like selling the house by this date, sorting out a Motorhome by that date...it will all come in time.
But, I do have a mental list, which includes tidying and decorating my house, having it valued, selling my stuff etc etc...it is a long [and daunting] list, if I am honest. Right now, I have very little energy, time or money to move these thoughts into actions.
So, I know how I DON'T want to live.............................
I was always my
own person
a hippy, some might say
party after party
I liked it that way.
I walked on the edge
of life’s simple path
I didn’t want it to change
wanted all that love to last.
I listened to Trance
and Pink Floyd too
and my eyes opened up
to a life that was so new.
Love was the answer
and peace was my goal
I never seemed to fit
in a conformist role.
Sadly life changes
I feel I lost my way
I miss all the travellers
from my festival days.
Now I feel tied down
to a life so humdrum
It makes me want to scream
and get up and run.
I wanna go back to the day
when love danced in my head
when all I felt was free
and the grass was my bed.
party after party
I liked it that way.
I walked on the edge
of life’s simple path
I didn’t want it to change
wanted all that love to last.
I listened to Trance
and Pink Floyd too
and my eyes opened up
to a life that was so new.
Love was the answer
and peace was my goal
I never seemed to fit
in a conformist role.
Sadly life changes
I feel I lost my way
I miss all the travellers
from my festival days.
Now I feel tied down
to a life so humdrum
It makes me want to scream
and get up and run.
I wanna go back to the day
when love danced in my head
when all I felt was free
and the grass was my bed.
Bry Ishi Fox
One day you will wake up and there wont be any more time to do the things you've always wanted. Don't die wondering!To follow my journey, and receive regular updates...
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