17. What do YOU deserve out of life?

***WARNING*** A very wordy blog, as I had so much to say, so make a cuppa- this may take a while! All I can assure you is that it does eventually end!! 
There are some great links, wonderful music and a few surprises along the way, plus some bad news and some good news [even exciting news], so grab a snack and take a seat...... we will begin....


1st April 2014.    Press play here >>> Wake up


                           OK, as many of you will know- this is my last blog, ever! 
                                      I am also deleting my Facebook account.

Being outside really feeds my soul

March, finally some sunshine!

April already, where do the months go?!
I hope this finds you all well, and enjoying the sunny springtime?

I had a nice bimble in early March, assisted by my walking stick! 
I came back to find that some wanker had smashed my rear window on the car, and stole an old coat! Desperate times I suppose?

We all, at times, do bad things in our lives, but to steal an old jacket that smells of patchouli and has had dirty dog paws on it just seems ridiculous to me. 
In a way I am lucky, as in all my years of driving, this is only the second time this has happened to me. 
I wish the wanker thief knew about the hassle, stress, time, work and money that it costs to put right. Also it has now put me in a position where I really need to think about where I park. I will freely admit that I didn't give it any thought at all before, but now I find myself thinking about the safety of my car, and wondering if it will be in one piece on my return! 
The trouble is, I love to visit out of the way places, stone circles, woods and other special [and quiet] places. I can't and won't stop going to the places I love... but I also don't want to run around, trying to race back to my car before some bastard decides to smash it up!
Anyway, thankyou to my nephew Mark, for coming to my rescue, and working so hard in sorting it out for me, I appreciate it more than you can know.

The world needs to wear more tie-dye!

I have been diagnosed with Osteoarthritis ...not nice, but as expected! 
I have it in my neck to a lesser degree, but the real problem is in my lower back and right hip. 
It is very painful to be honest, and there doesn't seem to be much they can do about it, apart from drown myself in painkillers!! 
The doc said it would do me good to lose a bit of weight, around a stone. Also to gently exercise, and to take it easy.

I feel miserable right now!
The truth is, I am worried, I am concerned, and this news has shocked me. I am frightened for my future health.
I have had a bad back [on and off] for years. My neck has always [as far as I can recall] caused me problems, so it is clear that this has been with me for a very long time, before finally rearing its ugly head.
As you all know, I love walking, love being outside, love connecting with nature. I don't want this to stop me!!! You will have seen that sometimes I have to walk with a stick- better than not walking at all.
What frightens me most about this is not being able to do what I do, I need to be outside wandering around, taking it all in... 

I know it can, and will, get worse- and the thought of sitting indoors looking through photos of the places where I once walked...well, it doesn't sit comfortably with me. 
I was made to live outside, I need things like stone circles, forests, ruins, beautiful views, hills and standing stones to feed my soul, I come alive there, and take energy from these wonderful and inspirational places- MY places!
Although my doctor told me that this is a progressive condition, meaning it will get worse over time, for now I am going to continue as much as possible as I always have- with the help of medication!
I know some people are happy to sit around watching TV, or breathe their centrally heated homes on a daily basis, but that has NEVER been me.
We live a short life, do we really want to waste one single day sitting in front of a television?

I think that spending time with my Mum, and seeing her struggle and in constant pain has made me think how cruel getting old can be. However, I don't see myself as 'old', 
I think I am full of self pity right now- but... I DON'T FUCKING WANT THIS!  Sorry.

Anyway- that's my crappy news. Yes, I am pissed off about it, but I know there are many much worse off than me, it could have been better news today, but I am fully aware it could also have been much worse. 
Now I just have to learn to live with it, I suppose.

Most of the people [family] that I have told, seem to just have brushed it off with the 'you are getting old' comment. It's understandable really, although not helpful. Not that I wanted tea and sympathy, but perhaps a conversation about this condition? Maybe they are just unsure of the condition, or lost for words? People don't like to think of the future, and what old age may bring.
Never be fooled by what you see on the outside, because on the inside it’s often a different story.

But... I am going to take the positives from this, and when I can, I will get out and about...and appreciate nature, freedom, and life MUCH MORE!
Some days your life is all about your dreams, hopes and visions for the future. But there are some days where life is just about putting one foot in front of the other…and that’s OK.
Sometimes there is sadness in our journey, but there is also beauty. We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we hurt, or we will never know what is waiting for us around the next bend.
I will no longer take it all for granted, I will learn to manage the pain... 

I will see you on a hill, a quiet little lane or a stone circle real soon!!!

A man, a stick, an old piece of farm machinery and spring sunshine! Perfect.

Spring- so nice to meet you!

Still out walking, and sometimes paying the price... but the spring sunshine has been so welcome, and lifted my spirits no end. 

Even just a manageable short walk is better than sitting around at home, feeling sorry for myself!

I am determined to keep on going, I need fresh air, sunshine and beautiful views...often!

My new toy a Vamo V5

My Vamo- certainly living up to expectation!!!

I haven't bought baccy since Xmas, and not felt the need to, now that I have become a vaper! However, I do still miss having a roll up, if the truth be known! I think having to charge the battery, and remembering to, plus buying the e liquid etc is a bit of a hassle. I sometimes think that it would be nice to have the best of both worlds, and buy a little bit of baccy every now and then- but knowing me, I would just be a smoker again in no time!
Who knows what I shall end up doing. For now- I am happily vaping away!!

             Wherever you go - go with all your heart -x-

                                                                             Wake up...


Here's some [new to me] music, maybe you would like to search you tube, and give your ears a treat. Look for BANKS, BIRDY, A GREAT BIG WORLD, THE LUMINEERS, IMAGINE DRAGONS, OF MONSTERS AND MEN...you never know, you just might like one/some of them? Banks are probably the best of this bunch... Birdy is amazing too...

BANKS waiting game

BANKS warm water

BANKS brain

I could go on putting up BANKS links, but there stuff is brilliant! Enjoy!
Did anyone bother to listen to the track right at the start of this blog entry?
Where would we be without music to lift our weary souls?
Is this the third question in a row?

My friend on Facebook Lisa Cuthbert is well worth lending your ears to, she has a few tracks on You Tube.
                                  When words fail, music speaks.

Balls

So, after the ladies had their turn of promoting cancer awareness via Facebook, by showing their natural beauty and stripping that disgusting make up off... it was the turn of the men...so I HAD to have a go. Shame that Facebook decided to keep deleting the various photos though!
Its only a bit of lighthearted fun, and all for a very good cause.

            To make a difference to someones life, you don't have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful or perfect. You just have to care enough, and be there.

BREATHE!

Someone asked what my plans are now, and if I have changed my mind, or had it changed for me after being diagnosed with Osteoarthritis... 
The whole idea of this blog was to document my journey, I am still on it!

I think this health news has spurred me on even more to be honest. We live a short life, and really need to grab hold of it, and enjoy it in our own way. I am moving on, and always looking forward to reach the place where I want to be.


I now plan on sorting the house out to get it ready to sell ASAP. It will be a slower pace, as I need to do a bit, then rest, take painkillers, and do a bit more.....

One thing I wish I could sort out is a few people visiting and helping my old Mum out a bit more. I go over about 3 times a week, and pushing her hoover around, walking her dog, taking her shopping and doing a few jobs for her is really crippling me, I CAN'T do my house when I come home, my back simply won't let me.
But, I am not far away, a concerted effort is required. I obviously want to get as much for the house as I can, so need it to be virtually immaculate...

I know that living on the road will bring its own problems, I have mentioned some of these before. But the freedom it will bring will very easily overshadow any negatives.
A life on the road is a slower pace of life- perfect for me. I need to live a quieter and slower paced life, I think we all do. I see no real point in chasing around. I also see no point in getting into debt, having a mortgage etc, they only trap you, strangle the life out of you, and force you to work hard, to rush around...  we put ourselves in this 'prison' !!!

I want to live in many different places, hills, near the sea, down a quiet lane, in the woods, looking over valleys and mountains. 
Places that really appeal to me are; Glastonbury/Somerset. Cumbria. Scotland. Wales. Hereford. Devon. Cornwall. Dorset...and many other places between them! Not that I have any real plans in my head, just see where the wind blows me, I guess.
I want to see sunsets and sunrises, and not feel compelled to rush off to work. I want to breathe fresh air, see the seasons change- and be out there changing with them!

To travel, to go where I like, to see new places and experience new things is living. As you know, I really want to try to live more off grid by using the sun and solar panels to provide me with power, I want to live a simpler way of life.

I only hope that once I am on the road, others will find it in their hearts to visit my Mum.

During March, my nephew Mark had chance to go to Scotland and on his way back stopped off in Cumbria for a while. He was kind enough to send me a couple of photos he had taken that morning, rolling hills, lush clean green grass, a wonderfully blue lake and mountains...!! Incredible place.
I was so jealous of him, to actually witness such a majestic place and time is so inspiring, so jaw dropping and [to me] so spiritually uplifting... how can people be happy living every day in just one place, when we have such amazing places like this?

So NO, my plans have not changed- just got more real.

As with all of my photos in this blog, just click on the photo for a bigger or clearer view...

Cumbria. One of Marks photos

What do YOU deserve?

So many of us seem to settle for the average, I wonder why?
There is a life out there, just waiting for us to go and soak it up, there are wonderful and amazing places, with inspirational views, there are exciting adventures ahead, beautiful people, fun times and a life worth living.
Yet we tend to settle for the way things are!
It doesn't matter what possessions we have amassed, they only trap you. It doesn't matter about all the material 'stuff' we have that is keeping us tied down to a certain place or even a certain lifestyle.
There is no point in trying to buy a house or nice car when that only forces us to work even harder, in the process making someone else very rich!
It doesn't matter what we drive, what matters is what drives us.
For me, what drives me is a thirst for life, a need to break free from the mundane, to live a life that I have chosen.
So many of us are living in what we refer to as home, but we didn't choose to be where we are, either someone else did or circumstance forces us to be where we are.
Either way, settling for an existence is not living a life! [What do you deserve out of life?]

I miss my nag champa, patchouli and meditation room!

Someone sent me this:-
Dont worry about how slowly you feel you're heading to your dreams, or how many roadblocks you find, or detours you need to take, you're still cruising far ahead of everyone who's too afraid to even try.


                    **********************************************************
FAMILY: Contact me, I am selling, and giving away a lot of 'stuff', if anyone is interested- let me know what you want -x-
Sat 24th May 2014. 5:30pm. Make a note in your diary- this is the next FAMILY MEET UP date. I hope to see you all there? -x-
                    ***********************************************************

This is where I thrive, outside with the sun and wind- and wonderful view!

Do you like this blog? If so, go to top, on the left simply add your Email address and hit submit, you will get a notification when my next entry goes live!!

         Life is about moments: Don't wait for them, create them!

Sadhguru

This is my magic supply of pills and potions, plus a little positive thinking,
meditation, relaxation, music and exercise!

                        My beard is 3 months old today! Just saying!!


                                            For the best film ever - click this...

                                           For the best album ever - click this...

                                          A man worth listening to - click this...

                                         A site worth a few minutes - click this...

                                                      Cumbria - click this...


       SILENCE IS BETTER THAN BULLSHIT

Will you look back on life and say "I wish I had" or "I'm glad I did"?

Life

Each one of us has to ask ourselves, What do I really want? Do I really want to be Number One? Or do I want to be happy? If you want success, you may sacrifice your happiness for it. You can become a victim of success, but you can never become a victim of happiness.


                                                             THE OTHER SIDE...


                      Wherever you go - leave a heart print -x-


                         What do YOU deserve out of life?

Yep

So, what do you deserve out of life? Do we 'deserve' anything? I think we are born free, and should TRY to remain as free as possible. I also think that we do actually deserve something, we deserve to live our lives our way, to be as happy as we can and to do whatever we want to do, within legal parameters of course!
We should NOT be controlled all the fucking time, told what to do, how to act and what to think. We should make a nuisance of ourselves, we should grow old disgracefully!!
Take a look around you, at where you are living and working...ask yourself- are you living and is it working for you?

No, the truth is, we work so someone else can benefit from it. Life is mostly one stupid fucked up game. We even vote in a group of people who we already know will control us and rip us off!
We all need help!

I'm sorry that this blog is so long, but as I said at the start, I had a lot to say- but we are getting there!
I can now tell you that today [22nd March], I think the meds are all kicking in, and I have been able to really get on with the house, sorting, cleaning, mowing the grass, throwing shit away and making plans!! I'm knackered, but I feel that I now have one foot out of the door!!!
I need to hear from the family THIS WEEK regarding my 'stuff', so once you have read this blog, gimme a bell, please -x-

Ishi Wanderlust

So, right at the very top of this blog, 

I said about this being my last ever blog entry, 

and getting shot of Facebook.

I hope that you will forgive me

and understand that the naughty

Ishi Wanderlust

made me type that.... 

Did you fall for my April Fool ???!!!

Follow your bliss

I may have mentioned this before, but I have a website ready for when I start travelling, to put all my photos into [as I plan on buying a decent new camera]. I will probably do a monthly album, to make things easier. I will post the details when I am ready.
I am also thinking of doing a kinda blog via video, and could upload them to you tube, we will see.

One question I have; Would those that are currently reading my blog like it to be kept monthly, or would you like more regular updates, say weekly or fortnightly? [If/when I have something to say!]
Any thoughts on this? If so, either leave a comment, or let me know via Facebook, text etc.. Facebook 'ramblings' group
I have put a question up on the Facebook group.

My next tattoo will probably be a few autumn leaves

Just some random thoughts and opinions, as I empty my head...
You don't need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough. When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn't actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and you don't have to internalize that. Your worth isn't dependent upon other people’s acceptance of you- it’s something inherent. You exist, and therefore, you matter. You're allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. You're allowed to assert your needs and take up space. You're allowed to hold onto the truth that who you are is exactly enough. And you're allowed to remove anyone from your life who makes you feel otherwise.
Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we're settling for.
Sometimes you have to love people from a distance and give them the space and time to get their minds right before you let them back into your life.
Everybody has gone through something that has changed them in a way that they could never go back to the person they once were.
Sometimes it is necessary to limit or eliminate your contact with certain individuals who bring you more misery than peace and do not reflect or allow you to be the person that you truly are or aspire to become. Instead, surround yourself with positive thinkers who are not always creating drama. Choose people who make your day brighter simply by being around them. Find those who you admire, you are proud to know, and who support, motivate and encourage you to grow.
Most of all, be yourself, be original, know yourself and don't even think of trying to conform to what someone else thinks you should be. Follow your bliss and wherever you go, go with all your heart -x-

**********************************************************************
UPDATE-  As from TODAY, my house in on the market!!!!! Finally!!! 
I will post a link on Facebook, and contact family. Can I ask you all [in Oxfordshire] to share the link please? Thankyou -x-
Do you like this blog? If so, go to top, on the left simply add your Email address and hit submit, you will get a notification when my next entry goes live!!
*****************************************************************************

It will take a few days now before my house is actually online and advertised everywhere, as they are now writing up the description, getting paperwork done etc. They came round last night at 5:30pm to take the photos, but I sent them away, as it was quite dull outside by then, so they will return in the daytime when it is likely to be brighter, and obviously show the house off looking its best.
But [after what feels like a lifetime!] I am there, and exactly where I want to be.

During the past year, since I decided to sell up, I have been sacked from work, had no money, ended up more or less as my Mums carer and been diagnosed as having Osteoarthritis, but some of the positives have include some of the wonderful places that I have visited, I have given up smoking, and right now- I am finally on the right path!


THOUGHTS FROM WITHIN;
I learned that who doesn't look for you, doesn't miss you and who doesn't miss you doesn't care for you. 
That destiny determines who enters your life, but you decide who stays. 
That the truth hurts only once and a lie every time you remember it. 
That there are three things in life that leave and never return: words, time and opportunities.
The things I find most beautiful about a person are almost never physical. 
I'm humble enough to know that I'm not better than anybody but wise enough to know that I'm different from the rest.
The most wonderful places to be in the world are: In someone’s thoughts, someone’s dreams and in someone’s heart.
Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else.
Life is unpredictable and you never know what is coming next. Don’t ever get too comfortable. Always be ready for change.
You cannot travel back in time to fix your mistakes, but you can learn from them and forgive yourself for not knowing better.
They say the people who exhibit the most kindness have experienced a lot of pain. The ones who act like they don’t need love, are the ones that need it more. The ones who take care of everyone else’s needs are the ones who need it most. And the people who smile a lot may be the one’s who cry when there is no one around.
Therefore, value whoever values you and don’t treat as a priority whoever treats you as an option.
Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don’t, and believe that everything happens for a reason. 
If you get a chance – take it. If it changes your life – let it. Nobody said that it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. -x- 

You have now made it to the end of the blog!! Congratulations, and thanks for sticking with it! -x-



Thomas Feiner 'wheres the high'. This is the best singer no one has ever heard of........

Go to you tube, listen to any track by Thomas Feiner, [they are all amazing]... be moved.

Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful

PEACE -x-                            sadhguru