15. Computer Fag!

1st Feb 2014.   SAIL. Press play, then carry on reading...let this soak into your soul. -x-

Thankyou winter.

January is over, what a month...winds, rain, flooding, gales, chilly ...and glorious sunshine! Often it was all that in one day!
We have had a little frost, some huge hailstones, foggy mornings, drizzly days-  you name it !!!

I have managed to get out and about, been to Rollright stones, Abingdon river, Minster Lovell ruins, Hagbourne old railway sidings, Wittenham clumps, Godstow nunnery etc. Yeah, I have at times got muddy, cold and wet...but so what?

January wetness [and FREEZING!]...  be a drought soon enough?!

I absolutely love the cold air in my lungs, the burning feeling on my face and the quiet beauty that winter brings us. At times, I could have easily been walking in the spring, the sun feels so good at this time of year, it feels like the earth is waking up. 

If you can get out in the winter...DO !!!

January has been kind enough to allow us some absolutely amazing and magical sunsets, some with incredible layers of wonderfully deep colours.

Heres hoping that February will settle down a little, and give us some relief from the rain and flooding. But- this is still winter, and [in my view] it has been a nice mild winter, the summer of 2013 was amazing too- so we have been very lucky. Besides, all seasons bring their own kind of magic.

For me, when I walk, I feel free. It really is as simple as that. Walking is a kind of meditation, it allows you to think, to get some air, to feel connected, and most importantly- to let go of those things that we feel are weighing us down in life. When you walk, you feel awake, alive and free.

For those of you that are waking up, or simply want something to think about, can I suggest the wonderful Sadhguru. Look for him on You Tube....... Sadhguru


EVERYONE DIES, BUT NOT EVERYONE LIVES

The wetness of January can still be a magical and inspirational month, the quiet calmness leaves its imprint on my soul, a beautiful way to start the year. With all this water, the spring and summer will look lush and green -x-

Right, on with January. Well, firstly I would like to tell you that I have given up smoking!!
Yes, it is true! After smoking fairly consistently since I was aged 12, about 15 plus roll ups per day- I am now smoke-free!
All this is thanks to my nephew Mark, who kindly bought me a computer fag, or electronic cigarette!
This allows me a little bit of Nicotine, but none of the harmful and carcinogenic smoke, tar, chemicals and all manner of other shit they put into it.
So I am now smoke free. I have become a vaper!

Vaper...Vapist...Vaperer...Vaperist???!!!

It hasn't all been plain sailing, as I have a naughty little demon inside my head...who likes to try and wear me down with his constant nagging about how much I am missing smoking etc...the little bastard is right actually! Smoking became like a friend, a past time perhaps, and YES- I really did enjoy a smoke.

I miss smoking, stupid- but I do! I am sure my body is craving the drugs, often it makes me irritable and sometimes my stomach is in knots, but- I have done so well, one day at a time...
So, I shall keep going now. I will try to keep busy, keep that little demons voice quiet, and try not to eat like a fucking pig!

A problem with this little plastic fag is the battery, which can die [without warning] in a few seconds. Leaving you high and dry!! Reading up on it, you have to charge it for around 2 hours, so that it can last approx 6 hours. There are other batteries and fags available- so I have done a little research... and thanks to my brother-in-law [kind of...] Aydan, I now have a smart new 'fag' with a longer lasting battery. I have a eGo-CE6, it is great, this kit comes with 2 batteries and 2 tanks, you also get a hard case. I have 3 bottles of various flavoured e-liquids.

This new fag needs a charge of around and hour or so, then lasts nearly 24 hours! Much better, plus I feel more satisfied, it produces more vapour, and just somehow works much better for me. I now know that I will NEVER be buying baccy ever again!!!

eGO Vape

I now feel totally free from smoking! I'm saving money, feel fitter and healthier, and am enjoying this 'new' way of being. So, no more smoking for me, FOREVER MORE!!!!  .....vape away!!!

Ectoplasm

Thankyou Mark! What an incredible present. They say money can't buy your health, ...they fucking lie!!!

Connect with mother nature...OFTEN!

The past 3 months, I have been arranging a nice birthday lunch for my Mums 80th. A simple task- you might think? 

Well, it should have been. However... 

The majority of the family are fine and decent people, who clearly just wanted to celebrate an 80th birthday.

But we get the other side, where everything I say and do is cause for concern to the brain dead. On the group I set up to arrange this meal, there were pathetic and not needed comments regarding how to contact certain family who do not use Facebook. Comments and concerns as to who is going, who is invited, are all family invited, what the point of the group was.... all very boring and sad.

Certain family members simply totally ignored either the group, the texts or the messages [then decided to turn up anyway!]

The group is simply a vehicle to invite all the family to a few get togethers. But, despite asking, some people will never confirm if they are going or not. My texts to my brother were ignored, and it feels with certain people, they are intent on trying to diss a good idea, with comments such as 'are all the family invited, because they should be'. If the brain dead could read, they would see that 'everyone' and 'all' are welcome.
One person even thinks that 12 noon [3 times a year] is too early for her! Really?

So this has left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, having first been forced to abandon the idea of a little party, then booking a new place- then having to cancel it. Finally booking somewhere else for 30 people, to be told there might be more coming a few days before the meal!!

Then a text from my dear old Mum saying she was worried about it, didn't want the hassle, and wanted to know exactly who I had invited. So, no surprises for her then. A shame. 

What a nightmare. Add this crap to the pathetic comments- its enough to make a bald man pull his hair out!

I had thought several times about simply not going myself, to free up a space for one of the late comers. But fuck it, after going into the pub 4 times to arrange and rearrange the seating area, I deserved to be there!
My poor old Mum told me she didn't feel like going, because of a couple of peoples attitudes, nasty remarks, and general bitchiness!

From now on the get togethers we have arranged for May and Sept, are a simple case of turn up if you want to, don't if you don't want to-  much easier!

If people can't be bothered to get out of bed, book time off work or arrange a lift on these three occasions each year, then shame on them- but it will be them who miss out. My hope is that some people turn up to each 'meet up', have a nice time, a few laughs, and take some nice family photos. I plan on going to EVERY meet up.

TO REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE, YOU NEED TO FORGET WHO THEY TOLD YOU TO BE.

Saying all that, the meal was a great success, and my now 80 year old Mum certainly enjoyed herself.
She ate a half rack of ribs, had a few lagers, and spent the time chatting away, cuddling babies, playing with children and talking about old times with a few friends. It was nice to see her standing tall, and walking with just one stick- she has come on so well.
It was only a few hours over the lunchtime [as she won't go out at night], but she had a great time. She had some horrible pains in her legs, so we left to get her home, so she could take some painkillers. 

131 years between us !!!!!

So happy birthday to a dear old lady. My hope is that this special day has woken a few people up, and maybe she will now get a few more visits from family members. No one knows how long we have on this earth, and as we get older I believe the simpler things in life mean so much more to us, I know that my old Mum would be absolutely thrilled with a few more visits- I hope today has inspired people and motivated them. Just a 20 minute minute visit, a quick cuppa and a chat about the weather- thats all it takes. Remember, YOU might be the only visitor she gets that day!

{It has been a week since the meal- only the usual 3 visitors...so far!}

The day was great, food was excellent [cooked by a traveller who lives in a motorhome!!], and it was especially magical for me, as I got to meet little Jake!!

I can imagine, and hope, that the May and Sept meet-ups, will be a nice relaxing time, sat in a pub garden, chillin' and chattin'. Can't wait!

PLEASE BRING YOUR CAMERAS!!! 

Jake

WHEN NOTHING IS SURE, EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE

Be yourself!

Here are some things to be grateful for in our lives: 

1. Your parents - For giving birth to you. Because if there was no them, there would be no you. 

2. Your family – Not all, but some are amazing! 

3. Your friends – For being your companions in life, and for being there when family can't. 

4. Sense of sight – For letting you see the magical colours of life. 

5. Sense of hearing - For letting you hear the trickle of rain, the voices of your loved ones, and the harmonious chords of music. 

6. Sense of touch - For letting you feel the texture of your clothes, the breeze on your skin, the hands of your loved ones, for massage and comfort. 

7. Sense of smell – For letting you smell the forest, perfumes, coffee and nice warm meals.

8. Sense of taste – For letting you savour chocolate!

9. Your speech – For giving you the outlet to express yourself.

10. Your heart – For pumping blood to all the parts of your body every second since you were born; for giving you the ability to feel. 

11. Your lungs – For letting you breathe so you can live. 

12. Your immune system – For fighting viruses that enter your body. For keeping you in good health so you can do the things you love. 

13. Your hands – So you can type on your computer, flip the pages of books, and hold the hands of your loved ones. 

14. Your legs - For letting you walk, run, swim, and curl up in the comfort of your seat. 

15. Your mind - For the ability to think, to store memories, and to create new solutions. 

16. Your good health – For enabling you to do what you want to do and for what you’re about to do in the future. 

17. Your school - For providing a environment conducive to learning and growing. [Kind of!!]

18. Your teachers – For their dedication and for passing down knowledge to you. 

19. Tears – For helping you express your deepest emotions. 

20. Disappointment - So you know the things that matter to you most. 

21. Fears – So you know your opportunities for growth. 

22. Pain – For you to become a stronger person. 

23. Sadness – For you to appreciate the spectrum of human emotions. 

24. Happiness – For you to soak in the beauty of life. 

25. The Sun - For bringing in light, warmth and beauty to this world. 

26. Sunset – For a beautiful sight to end the day. 

27. Moon and Stars - For brightening up our night sky. 

28. Sunrise - For a beautiful sight to start the morning. 

29. Rain – For cooling you when it gets too warm and giving you an excuse to sleep in on weekends. For making this land green and for growing food. 

30. Snow – For making winter even more magical and beautiful. 

31. Rainbows – For a beautiful sight to look forward to after rain. 

32. Oxygen - For making life possible. 

33. The earth – For creating the environment for life to begin. 

34. Mother nature - For covering our world in beauty. 

35. Tattoos, poetry, psychology – For allowing me to be me, and adding to the diversity of life. 

36. Internet - For connecting you and me despite the physical space between us. 

37. Transport - For making it easier to commute from one place to another. 

38. Mobile phones – For making it easy to stay in touch with others. 

39. Computers – For making our lives more effective and efficient. 

40. Technology – For making impossible things possible. 

41. Cameras – For providing memories. 

42. Books – For adding wisdom into your life, allowing yourself to wake up. 

43. Blogs – For connecting you with other like-minded people. 

44. Shoes – For protecting your feet when you are out. 

45. Meditation – For keeping you grounded, peaceful, relaxed and centred. 

46. Autumn – For giving you a scenic explosion before trees settle down for winter.

47. Music - For lifting your spirits when you’re down and for filling your life with more love. 

48. Your bed - For you to sleep comfortably in every night. 

49. Your home - For a place you can call home. 

50. Your soul mate[s] – For being the one[s] who understands everything you’re going through. 

51. Your best friends – For being there for you whenever you need them. 

52. Your enemies – For helping you uncover your blind spots so you can become a better person. 

53. Kind strangers – For brightening up your days when you least expect it. 

54. Your mistakes - For helping you to improve and become better. 

55. Heartbreaks - For helping you mature and become a better person. 

56. Laughter - For serenading your life with joy. 

57. Love - For letting you feel what it means to truly be alive. 

58. Life’s challenges - For helping you grow and become who you are.

59. Travel - For opening yourself to new adventures and growing as a person. 

60. Life - For giving you the chance to experience all that you’re experiencing, and will be experiencing in time to come. 

Sunshine blessings! -x-

I AM LEARNING TO GRACEFULLY LET GO OF THINGS NOT MEANT FOR ME.


Before I go, I just wanted to thank YOU, for reading this blog. It means a lot to know that someone is reading what I spend my time thinking and writing about. THANKYOU!
An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place and circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.
Thankyou to my family, I may moan but I DO care -deeply! 

Thankyou to my friends, you know you mean the world to me -x-

I may be complex, different, unusual, weird, a free spirit, deep thinker...and many other things, but please know that I think of you all very often. I feel blessed to have the people I do in my life.

I never really think of myself as different, but I have been told many times over that I am odd, unconventional, alternative... and a few other things!
I don't mind. I just have my own way of thinking, and I know that I view the world differently than a lot of other people- its just how I am.
I'm not apologising for being me, and I can only live my life MY way, the way I know how.

I will continue to live as I please, even if it ruffles a few feathers. We are only here for a short time, and this journey of ours MUST feel comfortable.
It has taken me a very long time to feel comfortable in my own skin. I know I seem anti-authority and that I go against the grain as often as possible, with my hippy/punk attitude. But I believe we are born free, then have 'life' dumped upon us, being told how to act, what to do and how to feel.
That is no way for me to live!

So if you don't understand me, that is absolutely fine with me, because I have trouble understanding many people too!
All I ask is that I am left alone to live my life my way, as I let you live your way. 
Namaste -x-

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world, I know because I have done it hundreds of times!

Have a great February everyone, and remember- we might not have the hover car, or be able to time travel yet, but we now live in the age of the plastic fag! Happy Vaping!

I'm off out for a walk, to feel the wind in my beard!
[I suggest you do the same before the government ban it or tax it!]

PEACE -x-

THE KING STONE at ROLLRIGHT STONES, on a milder January day!

Mark- thanks once again mate. -x-
Maggie- All the very best. You deserve all the good things that life has in store for you. This is the first step on your dreams ladder. I miss you, but feel happy that you are showing those Americans your wonderful spirit -x-
Pauline- take this time to reflect, think things through, ACT and refuse to be treated like shit again! -x-
Lisa- Although you will find yourself a long way from home, remember you [and Jack] are only a seconds thought away -x-

The beard-  a month on!