13. What other people think of you is none of your business

November, a sometimes cold sometimes sunny month, in many ways the gateway to the winter. I think of November as the still month, the month that takes our chilly hands and leads us from autumn into winter.

I have enjoyed some wonderful sunny walks in order to reconnect with our earth. Funny how something as simple as going for a walk can bring such a feeling of relaxation, peace and harmony pumping around your body. Autumn walks are amazing, the colours, the crisp air and dazzling sunshine- really helps feed the wanderlust in my veins, for a while at least!

I am in an odd mood, obviously I am still trying to spend a lot of time over at my Mums, as the rest of the family seem to be too busy, but I am also trying my best to spend two days a week in my house. Why the odd mood? Well, when I do get some time to sort my place out, I can hardly be bothered! I think I am more tired than I care to admit, also after you have been hovering, tidying, gardening, shopping etc… it is somehow boring to do it all over again!

But, I am making some headway. Doing it all on my own isn't much fun, but I will get there. It is just a case of determination. 
However, I have finally made a start at dealing with the paperwork, why we keep such things as an instruction leaflet for a lawn mower, is beyond me. 2 sacks later, and I have only done one room. THIS SHIT HAS TO GO!

My Mum is improving now, and able to do much more. Obviously she needs me to run her to the shops and do the hoovering etc, but I now feel less guilty about wanting to do stuff in my own home. 
At the start of the month I was over there 7 days a week, but now I go over 4 or 5 days, meaning I will now be able to sort my stuff [and house] out. Onwards and upwards, its all cool.

I have bought her a photo album, that can hold 200 photos, and have been busy filling it up. I am going to put around 150 photos in, so she can fill the rest with any special photos she has or gets from the family. I will give her this on her 80th birthday in January. At 39p per photo, it is costing a bit, but she will love it.

[Family, for those of you who haven't confirmed if you are going to her birthday meal- please do so ASAP, I need to know numbers, and get the place booked, thankyou!]

It is a shame, but we don't really bother to print photos now, we just sling them into an album on our pc's or our phones, meaning that many [especially the elderly] do not get to see them. I have created a total mix, mostly of the grandchildren, but added a few of my Mum and the family, plus a few to make her smile. This'll keep her entertained on the lonely dark evenings.

Although computers are great, they are slowly killing off other things, photos, dictionaries, calculators, record shops, books, maps, encyclopaedias and our brains!!

So here we are in December, I wonder what this month will bring? Snow?
Obviously Christmas will happen, although I have NOTHING to do with Christmas [or cosumermas as I like to call it]. When I was a kid, xmas was one day. The decorations and crap used to go up a few days before xmas day, usually around the 21st or 22nd. Now we have 'the christmas season', which runs from late september until late december...  I would hate to be a kid these days!

I have another persona on Facebook, incase they decide to kill me off again- send me a friend request, if you like... ISHI WANDERLUST

I had [yes, again..] a couple of small tattoos done! 
Most people either don't mention them, well not to me, or they say they like this or that etc. But after a recent negative comment, it got me to thinking. But- I stand by this... What other people think of you is none of your business.

So....

Tattoos are as old as humanity itself. Sadly, some peoples attitudes to them are also very outdated! A tattoo is a personal reflection of yourself to the world, a statement [if you like].

Many cultures have embraced the art of tattooing as a form of spirituality.

Even some Buddhist monks wear tattoos for spiritual strength and protection. Neo-Pagans and Wicca followers often wear the pentagram or pentacle to represent their hallowed beliefs. Tattoos can certainly be spiritual symbols on skin!

My ‘OM’ on my hands reminds me of the higher realms. Tattoo symbols are an energetic imprint full of meaning and power.

Getting a tattoo involves commitment, not unlike a spiritual journey. Even the smallest of tats is still an indelible mark. Barring laser removal, your ink is with you forever. And so it is with the path to spiritual growth. It is always with you. Not only does it take conviction, it can also take a great deal of time, effort and yes—pain.

Sitting in the tattoo studio experiencing the sting of the needle can be a metaphor for the difficulties of life that we must endure. But once we come out on the other side of that pain, a beautiful tattoo emerges to become a permanent part of us. It’s the same with life. The hardships faced can mold our souls into something colourful and exquisite to behold.

Even the designs you choose can serve as part of your spiritual journey, each mark made on your skin captures a moment in your life and can be a milestone along your path. It’s all very personal but ultimately it illustrates your journey and shows who you are at each point in time.

And sometimes we find that our tattoos no longer truly exemplify who we've become. That’s also an indication of growth and change along the path. You may appreciate having that reminder on your skin or you may decide that the energy of that symbol no longer fits. But you still learn about yourself.

My tattoos have various meanings, some I got just for the fun of it, others are deeply personal and some are there to remind me of who I am, where I am going, and where I want to be. My new one on my fingers says ‘original’, a message to myself, to remain the person I am, despite society and certain people trying to knock me down. I don’t and won’t conform, I was born original…

I’m addicted to tattoos, and probably should have been a tattooist…but I am happy to have been part of the tattoo world, I have met some amazing people over the years, and some of the deep and meaningful conversations I have had whilst being tattooed are still with me!

To me, getting a tattoo is exciting, it is relaxing and brings on a wonderful feeling afterwards- when it leaves me with a little message to the world.

A tattoo is a true poetic creation, and is always more than meets the eye.  As a tattoo is grounded on living skin, so its essence emotes a poignancy unique to the mortal human condition.

When the designs are chosen with care, tattoos have a power and magic all their own.  They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul.

The tattoo is the mark of the soul, it can act as a window through which we can see inside, or it can be a shield to protect us from those who cannot see past the surface.

Tattoos tell stories of crime and passion, punishment and regret, and can hint to the world about the person we are or the journey we have been on. They express an outlaw, anti-authoritarian point of view and communicate a romantic solidarity among society's outcasts.

BRY FOX...happy to be one of society's outcasts!

>>>FAMILY<<<... Contact me if you read this and are interested in any of my furniture and bits and bobs, should be January/February [with any luck].
I have lots, a single divan bed base with two huge draws under/DVD player/Fridge freezer in silver/Washer dryer in silver/Pine double bed base/computer table/books/ornaments/pictures/Stereo/lounge furniture/mower/gardening stuff/pine bedroom furniture/CD shelving/book shelf/mirrors/kitchen utensils/2 large lamps/CD's ...and lots of other things...

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short - enjoy it YOUR way.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.Your friends and family will.

5. Get outside and love nature, often.

6. Tattoos, poetry, music, art...express yourself in a way that is right for you.

7. If someone doesn't understand you, that is THEIR problem.

8. Sometimes, to be kind to yourself, you have to let go of certain relationships.

9. Be original, don’t conform.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. Remember- if voting changed anything, they would make it illegal.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. Be kind, honest and decent.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to be happy. 

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Never save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Meditate.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple tie-dye!

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Don't believe the media, TV and newspapers tell you ONE SIDE of what is really going on.

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive but don't forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. Take time to be with the trees, understand them and listen carefully.

35. Embrace the wanderlust in your veins.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. I take ‘you are such a hippy’ as a compliment.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Remember, you will be old one day. 

42. The best is yet to come...

43. Good get better.

44. Always take time for YOU, music, mediation, massage, art- whatever feeds your soul.

45. Follow your bliss.
46. If you really can't make time for the elderly, Karma will get you in the end.
47. Be yourself, no one does it better.
48. If you have a dream, act upon it.
49. Turn your TV off, there is a life waiting for you out there.
50. Relationships are a two-way thing. Make an effort NOW!

Finally, for November...

 Thoughts from within; A very personal reflection...

In order for a relationship to thrive one basic element is needed: connection. 

This is a precious and valuable relationship you are investing in.  Sometimes we just have to keep putting ourselves out there, playing the part, as it were, of the supportive and helpful uncle, son and friend, and trust that eventually, those that seem to hardly bother going out of their way to contact you, will do. Sometimes when we act as if there is a relationship, and take some practical steps towards achieving it, it evolves. 
Once a connection between two people starts to fade, it HAS TO BE up to both people to put it right.

As in all relationships, there are two sides. Over the years I have had to make the lion’s share of the effort to keep certain relationships going. It annoys me, and hurts me, that it seems to be always me doing the visiting, sending texts, messaging on Facebook or making phone calls. Often, my texts or facebook messages simply get ignored!

In this day and age, keeping in contact should be so easy!
Some people even get free calls or free texts on their phones.....

I had what I thought were good friends for many many years, when I moved back to Oxfordshire, it was me calling, me visiting, me texting! I did this every other month, for 3 years. Each time I left, I said "stay in touch, give me a bell or a text, better still- pop over when you can".  They never did.

One day, I decided to stop all the calls, texts and visits...to see how long it would be before they bothered to contact me. 
4 years on- not a single word!

I would hate this to happen to family. With friends- there are always more friends...

But...

Today, I give up! 
I give up trying to control things that I can not control. 
I give up trying to be someone I am not. 
I give up resisting the things that just are. I give up! 
Today I accept that I am not perfect. 
Today I tell myself that despite everything, I am a good person. 
Today I accept that for some people, staying in touch is not what they want. Today I let go, if contact dries up, then that is their decision.
Today I accept that things will not always go my way. 
Today I float with the current rather than beat myself up swimming against it.

So this year, my new years resolution is to care less.

Care less for people who care little for me, care less for people who judge and condemn me for being the person I am. Care less about lack of contact, knowing that I have always done my very best to keep in touch.

I will not necessarily stop loving but I will stop investing, I shall place my caring where it is meaningful and matters and is appreciated, with people who are capable of  reciprocating in kind.

Those who really care, friends and family, will go out of their way to send a message, make a call or visit. The sad fact is though, one or two will fade away... but I have to accept that is their choice. Its sad, its a shame, but its also reality. I love some of my friends and family, and always will do, but have to accept that for some, staying in contact is not important to them.

Should it really always be me making the effort, trying to keep some fading relationship alive? I no longer think so.

     SOMEONE REAL

Life is full of ups and downs

some will be there, some can’t be found

If they won't care as they should, then so be it

this is life in the way that I see it.

You can give a little or give a whole lot

when they decide to leave, what have you got? 

You build it up, and then it breaks away

this is life in the way I see it today.

Days come and go, true hearts stay close

                                                                                   without happiness, love is an imitation at most

                                                                          and if you haven't stayed close, it's hard to love you

                                                                                    this is life in a way that is sadly true.

                                                                                  To leave behind such a feeble mind

                                                                                  forget it and pursue someone real

                                                                                  this is my goal, and in time...

                                                                                  this will be life and the way that I feel.

                                                                                                                     Bry Fox 2007

ONE OF THESE DAYS 

One of these days

you'll look back to see...

that I was always there

but you were never there for me.

One of these days

your heart will start to ache...

then you'll realize

there was a risk you needed to take.

One of these days

you'll look around for me...

I will be gone

but I am yours eternally.

One of these days

the thought will be too much to bear...

just say you love me

and I'll be there.

                             Bry Fox 2003


Congratulations to Hayley and Dan on your marriage, also congratulations to Adam and Rissa on the birth of Rosabel, and to Wes and Kamila on the birth of Jacob!!!! -x-x

....and that is it for now. Enjoy your December, drive safely, and wherever you go- go with all your heart -x-

PEACE is the only way  -x-