11. Private

We will forever be known by the tracks we leave behind us

October 2013.

The first 3 weeks of September saw me decorating, sorting, cleaning, painting, storing stuff, throwing stuff...I have actually worked really hard, and the house has never looked better. It has been a hard month, moving furniture around on your own is never a good idea!

I have also been helping my poor old Mum who is having real problems walking. I feel so sorry for her, the pain she is in, yet she says "Still, it could be worse"! Bless her!

I am now just about ready to take the next [big] step of putting it on the market. 
I don’t know if this is the right time or not, but the house is nearly ready, so I had better be!

I had kind of imagined that I might be ready for this by the spring of next year, but there is never a better time than now, which suits my capricious nature.

I have all my ‘bits’ [the stuff for the motorhome] boxed up and stored at my nephews -Thanks Graeme -x-.

I shall probably walk away from this house with a heavy heart, if I am honest. This sale is partly forced upon me, and partly what I want to do.

But, looking forwards, I know I am doing the right thing for me. Just to clarify- someone asked me the other day how long will I travel for, this is a life decision. There will be no coming back from this. My home will be on 4 wheels forever more now.

I have no idea where I shall stay between selling the house and buying the motorhome!

I have no idea how I will pay the solicitors fees.

I have no idea where I will buy the motorhome from.

I have no idea where I shall be parking it.

I have no idea where I might store stuff like tools etc.

I have no idea how I will fund my lifestyle.

I can only hope the cosmos looks at me kindly, and points me in the right direction!!

So, it is all coming together. I only started this blog 6 months ago, with half a plan/dream...

Now October is with us, I can see the leaves turning. I hope it is a warm October so that I can get out and be with the trees, Autumn is simply a magical time of year to me.

My dream is for world peace -x-

And now- a moan and a groan...

As no one seems to be reading my blog, I think I shall either give it a miss or make it private from now on.

I had hoped one or two people might like to follow my journey, but people seem to be so busy, but that’s cool. The fickleness of human nature- bored with my ramblings after just 5 months!!!

So I shall make it private, and just have a blog for me, to put my thoughts into, something to look back at from time to time.

It is a shame, as once I am travelling, I had intended this blog to become like a diary, with photos of where I have been, and a few words about my adventures, something for people to follow, connect and join me on my journey.

I put ‘updated blog’ on my Facebook, so that people know there is something new here. But looking at my admin stats, it is quite clear that no one reads this, I have been asking people to comment, just to let me know, but there hasn’t been any comments.

Oh well, I suppose this journey is MY journey, it doesn’t matter if anyone else wants to share in it or not really.

But my journey HAS ALREADY BEGUN.. if local friends/family followed this blog, they might be able to help me out. Perhaps by seeing what I have for sale, and letting others know, or [when the time comes] to maybe put a link on their Facebooks of my house for sale?
Still, there is always a greater sense of achievement when you do things for yourself, I suppose.

I have no right to expect anyone else to be as excited as I am, or even interested, but I do think it would be nice to keep up with people, once I am travelling.

Wherever

If anyone does ever come across this blog, here are a few ‘Life lessons’ …

Believe. The world we live in is full of elements that we can't see with our eyes - electricity, the air we breathe and of course magic!

I believe magic to be coincidence, luck, wishes and intentions.

Today rather than looking at how I will achieve something, I create a clear vision in my mind of what it will look like and allow the magic to do the rest!

Be Real. We are spiritual beings but we also have a human side. This usually shows up when we are fearful or stuck. Magic happens when we use our human side to take the next logical step to improve a situation, allowing our spiritual self and the laws of the Universe to see where we want to go.

Today think of a change you want to make, and take one step towards it.

Be Grounded. We spend so much time using our minds and emotions - thinking or worrying - that we forget we have a body!

Take 3 deep breaths and send some energy down to your feet and into the earth. Feel that you are attached and ask your body if it's happy...the answer may surprise you. Wear colourful socks or red nail varnish to remind you to be on the planet and aware of your body, then your spirit can float!

Are you breathing? Of course you are as you are still alive, but check to see if you are taking full, deep, breaths that reach down into your belly. Maybe you only have time to take 3 deep breaths 3 times a day but even this will add to your energy, clear your mind and give you time to focus. Remember small steps climb mountains!

Be Silent. Have you ever got to the point when you don't know what to do for the best, or been trying so hard you reach utter frustration? Step back, be silent and observe. Also listen, for within that silence is the sound of peace and once you tap in to that peace you will be able to also hear when an angel visits you.

STOP! You are not a machine. Your natural design does not tolerate 1-2 hours of travel per day, 8-12 hours of slave-labour 5-6 days per week for whatever monetary compensation on 5-6 hours of sleep in a system built on penalistic principles and a life under judgemental surveillance. Like it or not, you are human. Stress, harassment, constant financial worries, fear and sense of inadequacy destroys the health of any human. This is a scientific fact. So why is it that we accept and tolerate a system that in actual reality demands that you erase your needs, and in effect commit a slow joyless suicide for someone else's profit? You have a choice, stop pretending that you don’t.

Gratitude: Family and Friends, I am grateful for good friends, old and new, for my cosmic friends and my Facebook friends. Also for my family, again old and new, for not judging me and allowing me to follow my own path in life, and for those that love me no matter what!

I am grateful for all the good/bad experiences I have had that have all given me certain lessons on this journey, which enabled me to learn from them, and pass them on, making me a better man.

Because I am quite a complex person, people have asked me for years about my 'religion'. Are you a Buddhist, Pagan, Wayseer, Wicca, Atheist, Lightworker?

Does it really matter, and why are so hung up on 'religion'? I don't like ANY organised religion, especially Christianity.

But being religious, or not, does not define a person. I'd rather be decent than religious any day!

I am a Lightworker who describes himself as a hippy pagan Buddhist! Tomorrow that may change! I am grateful not to be a sheep.

I have a real love of words, more importantly the conviction to act upon them. Important words for me that I am grateful I can do 'something' with are; help, advice, care, encourage, inspire, teach, love, guide, comfort, give, learn, light, support, uplift and motivate.

Friends.... I've discovered that, people will come into your life and then often fade away, leaving you with happy memories of the time you have spent together.

But if those people have faded away, it is only because you have different paths, and different goals in life. Therefore, I do not grieve for lost friendships, but I am grateful that I had the opportunity to know friends who have taught me something about myself, or about life, that I needed to learn at that time. I carry on my journey looking back only to remember, with a smile.

LOVE. A gift of the heart is letting people know You love them.
It's easy to take our feelings for granted and to assume that the people we care about know how we feel about them. But while those we love are often quite cognizant of our feelings, saying "I love you" is a gift we should give to our loved ones whenever we can.

Letting people know you love them is an important part of nurturing any kind of loving relationship. Few people tire of being told they are loved, and saying "I love you" can make a world of difference in someone's life, take a relationship to a new level, or reaffirm and strengthen a steady bond.

Everyone needs to hear the words "I love you." Three simple words - I - Love - You. When you declare your love for someone you admit to them that you care for them in the most significant way. 
It can be difficult to express your love using words, particularly if you grew up around people that never expressed their affection verbally. But you should never be afraid to say "I love you" or worry that doing so will thrust you into a position of excessive vulnerability.

It is important to share your feelings with those that matter to you. Part of the fulfilment that comes with loving someone is telling them that you love them. Besides, love exists to be expressed, not withheld. 
If you love someone, let them know. Don't be afraid of the strength of your emotions or worry that your loved one won't feel the same way.

Besides, the words "I love you" are often best said to another without expectation of a return investment. As each one of us is filled with an abundance of love, there is never any worry that you'll run out of love if your expression of love isn't said back to you.

Saying "I love you" is a gift of the heart sent directly via words to the heart of a recipient. Even though it may not always look that way, love from the heart is an offering that is always unconditional and given without strings attached. That is the true essence of the gift of "I love you”.

Always take a quiet moment to reflect and connect

My interests include..................  Music, Meditation, The Sky, Family, Love, Peace, Ishi, Light, Truth, Bliss, Lightworking, Spiritualism, Feathers, Harmony, Energy, Native American Indians, Thinking, The woods, Atheism, Love, Travelling, Reading, Agnosticism, Trees, Hippies, Drumming, Stone circles, the internet, Psychology, Honesty, Buddha, Species, Nature, Hugs, Dreams, Cosmic ordering, The Great Spirit, Cosmos, Spirit, Soul, music, Angels, Past lives, Clouds, Tranquillity, Teaching, Chocolate, Choices, Nirvana, Travellers, Reincarnation, Ocean, Eyes, Freedom, Reflexology, Mountains, Clairvoyance, Telepathy, Empathy, Anarchy, Crystals, Night, Astrology, Unidentified flying object, Rain, All 4 seasons, Free spirits, Books, Peace, Photos, Candles, Soulmates, the colours of the sky, Alchemy, Magick, Wishes, Dreams, Mysticism, Infinity, New Age, Third eye, Eternity, Dimensions, Quantum Physics, DNA, The Isle of Avalon, Pyramids, Rainbows, Moon, Sun, Stars, Camp fires, Drugs, Art, Sociology, Psychedelia, Consciousness, ‘into the wild’, Graves, Avalon, Scenery, Silly socks, Purple, Walking, Thinking, Being, Occult, Esoteric, Politics, Sleeping, Autumn, Lucid Dreaming, Next Life, Magnets, Eating, Confucianism, Buddhism, Science, Tattoos, Perception, Friendship, Shadow people, Children, Theology, Spirituality, Words, Meditation, Poetry, Glastonbury, Nag Champa, Karma, Writing, Crop Circles, Stonehenge, Life and Ishi-my spirit guide.

                                                                     Peace -x-

A quick update. My Mum broke her hip and ended up in hospital, so I have been [and am] staying at her place. I am close to finishing the house...I just need to get back there, and get things sorted.
Be well Mum {{{HUG}}} -x-x-x-x

Probably the worst thing to come out of all this is the realisation that the old adage of 'I'm alright Jack' is alive and kicking...right in the very heart of my own 'family'.

I have been asking for 8 days for someone to come over to where my old Mum lives, to help me get the place looking nice for her, for when she comes out of hospital. The place is in a bit of a pickle, she is 79 [ a hoarder] and not in the best of health- bless her.

Do you think people dropped everything to help out their 79 year old Mum and Nan?...NO!!!!!!!!
Do you think they finally came over after much nagging from me? Or do you think they just could not be bothered?
It turns out it was a mixture of the last two, I did get some help eventually, but had to ask every single day for 8 days, before someone showed up! Sadly one or two family members didn't ever bother to reply to my requests.

I also asked for a whip-round to make the place more secure, firstly asking for a donation to purchase security lighting, then asking for help to get a bigger fence and gate put up.

Not one single person helped towards the security lights! Despite mentioning the gate every day for a week, just two people put their hands in their pockets.
I am very grateful for those who eventually came and helped to get the house nice for her return, and for the donations towards her safety. 

As I say I have been helping a lot, because at the moment I am not working. Now that she is out and recovering slowly, I am spending as much time with her as I can. I am very grateful that a couple of the family are also helping her out as often as they can- she will need all the help she can get for a while...but even this has had a downside!!! 
I set up a group conversation to keep all the family informed, where we can all comment and say a little about her days etc. But the fuck-wits soon ruined that, after me being accused of being 'sarcastic all the time', then 'trying to make people feel guilty', then 'you make it out than no one else bothers' and finally 'you do everything'...I deleted the conversation altogether. What is the point in back biting? Idiots.


This wonderful old lady, who never forgets a birthday, who always has a kind word to say about everyone, who never asks for anything, who deeply cares about her family and would do ANYTHING for them, was repaid by absolute luke warm interest. 
Not even all those that could, visited her in hospital. Those same people couldn't even find it in their heart to send her a card!

This shows peoples true worth and has deeply saddened me, I feel it is cruel, ignorant, hurtful...I actually feel ashamed. 
Is this honestly what things have come to- I'm alright, Fuck everyone else? What a nasty fucking attitude.

They carry on with their lives not giving a fuck for the safety and well being of a sweet old lady...a sweet old lady who will STILL bother with them, still get them birthday and christmas cards. A sweet old lady that knows the value and meaning of the word 'family'.

Those that didn't and probably never will bother with her, well, one day they will need something, and one day I shall say "Remember Mum/Nan".

KARMA

Without this little old lady- they wouldn't even have a life!!!

My lovely Mum -x-x-x